Going out of my mind

Hey, you know when you do that thing, where you really want to do something specific, but you drive yourself crazy wondering if it's worth it because you might suck and everyone will think you're an idiot, so you keep going back and forth deciding yes, no, yes no, yesnoyesnoyesnoyes...

I do that ALL THE TIME.

I'm doing it as we speak.

I have been second-guessing my every move, my every thought and impulse. This is a good thing when the thought is "Oooh I should surprise my husband by purchasing tickets for a trip we can't afford!" But when it's about moving, or going back to school, or auditioning, or taking a test, or sharing my goals, and I just DON'T because I'm think that I'll fail and EVERYONE WILL KNOW.....

not so good.

This is stupid. I know that. I am a very intelligent person, and I can recognize that I am being ridiculous. If I were talking to me, I'd tell myself to get a grip.

You can tell me. Go ahead. I'll wait.





Okay.

I'm at work, and break time is just about up. I can't delve the way I want to delve. When I'm here I only have time to think about work, and when I'm home I'm too tired to think about much of anything. I might need to force some reflection time on myself.

PS: I watched this show DietTribe on Lifetime last night - totally a Lifetime show but kind of awesome. These 5 friends are embarking on a weight-loss show together, and getting trained by a really, really cute personal trainer/fitness model. If anyone is interested in maybe starting a little support/check-in type group for similar reasons, let me know. Even if it's just a weekly email rather than a blog.

I'm sure we can find a hot blond fitness model to train us for free. They're everywhere, right?