"And the people like me on the job from 9 to 5"

Okay, okay. I promised myself I'd stay positive so I'm going to try and forget about the fact that I was just on the phone with a 48 year old douchebag with the mind of an adolescent who actually growled at me when he did not appreciate the fact that I would not leave my desk and go write an estimate for his vehicle. Never mind that I'm not licensed to write estimates...

My company recently went through a bit of a... well, a purge, for lack of a better word. Several people were let go. Not laid off, as I understand, but let go for performance or attendance reasons. This unfortunately included an Office Friend.

It has gotten me to thinking quite a bit about my life here. I fell into my current job, thanks in part to Macoosh, who referred me. For a long time, I was truly miserable. I took a lot personally, I had trouble getting over the issues I'd encounter every day. However, as time has gone on, I've grown first to tolerate my job, then to kind of appreciate it. I mean, I have an amazing boss who believes in me, advocates for me, knows when to joke around and when to get down to business. I have great benefits. I get a paycheck and - while others are unfortunately out of work - I just got a raise last week.

I listen to a lot of the podcasts for "This American Life" (which I should really devote several posts to because it's just so good.) A couple of weeks ago, they did a show that centered around careers. One man, who had gotten a job as a telemarketer 'temporarily' and ended up staying there for 10 years, said something that really stuck out to me. I'm paraphrasing here, but he said that he found himself in a position where he wasn't in the career he'd always pictured himself, he didn't love his job or feel like he was meant to do it, but he was really good at it. He was comfortable, liked his colleagues, got along with his boss, brought home a steady paycheck, and was rewarded when he excelled.

That struck me because I find myself in the same position. This is not where I saw myself landing. However, I have figured out that - despite what I have been telling myself for years - I am really, really good at this. I love my boss and most of my coworkers. And while I don't always feel like things are distributed fairly (and really, you find that anywhere) I am acknowledged for my contributions and trusted by not only my boss, but my boss's boss and above.

The other day I had a bit of an epiphany. I keep saying things like, "Well, I'm lucky I get to keep my job" or "I'm so lucky that Boss likes me." And yes, I'm lucky that my company is (so far) not having to do any lay-offs, and I'm lucky that I was matched with a supervisor whose management style meshes with me. When it comes to my life and my job, I am lucky in a lot of ways. But I also work my ass off. I get responsibility and rewards because I do my best, all the time - even though this job isn't exactly my dream career.

I don't know what the future will bring, so I won't say either that I'll be here for years to come, or that I'll be out by such-and-such a date. Things are crazy, and busy, and sometimes very unfair. But I manage. I find ways to get by, ways to deal with the craziness, ways to get through the overload.

There used to be many days that I'd have to physically stop myself from getting up and walking out. Everyone has those days, and occasionally I still have them too. But they're now based on a bad phone call, a mean customer, or my own feeling of being overwhelmed - rather than, say, just kind of hating my life entirely.

So yes, it used to be that the statement in that e-card at the top of the post applied to me every day. But now it only applies when some dickhead with a Maserati decides I should bend to his every whim, and growls at me when I kindly but firmly refuse.

Thank goodness for Italian food, beer, and flex days. How else would I ever cope?!