Most years I feel a certain amount of regret that the summer is coming to an end. Most years I dread the oncoming winter so much that I am barely able to enjoy the few weeks, sometimes days, of true autumn weather before it's freezing.
This will not be one of those years.
Apart from all the rain, it's been an amazing summer. I didn't get to perform or do anything particularly creative like I'd hoped, but I still managed to have one of the busiest summers I've ever had. There were weddings, parties, vacations, family events, weekly traditions, and more vacations. I did a ton this summer; yet, somehow I feel the laziest I've felt in a very long time.
The other night Hubs and I had a conversation about our utter lack of drive. I've been MIA from the gym, horrible at tracking for Weight Watchers (though somehow doing pretty well, which is not making it easier to track), procrastinating, making excuses, lazing around... Hubs and I both feel we've kind of let life run away from us. Usually I get more motivated when I'm busy but this whole "I'm on vacation" mentality has killed me this summer. I've done the bare minimum (everywhere but at my actual job) and I'm feeling totally immature and dumpy.
In short, I suck right now.
Sometime between the conversation with Hubs Sunday night and the train ride to work yesterday morning, I started to feel some actual drive. I got to work and immediately made two folders for to-do lists and notes to myself - one for work and one for home. I was crazy-busy at work all day but got home and made a pretty fantastic (albeit easy) dinner. Today I got in early and took care of some important business immediately. I've already knocked half of the "to-do" items off my list for this week.
I realize this spurt of drive and energy is not going to last forever. The key is to make certain things routine so that when I *do* have a lazy day, it doesn't ruin the rest of my week/month/season. So I'm excited for fall this year because I'm going to use it as a beginning point to get my shit together again. I'm not 100% sure what that means yet except that I'm going to set some goals and do my best to keep them.
I suck, but it's only temporary.
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2 comments:
That's exactly how I feel about spring coming to an end, and summer approaching. But I have to agree...this summer was wonderful! So mild and beautiful and only about 3 weeks of unbearable, sticky humidity. I can handle that.
Love the spurts of motivation. I take 'em when they come. Sounds like you got a lot done :o)
WHen you write "I suck" why is that, because you feel lazy? Because you're not motivated to exercise, diet, what? Reads to me like you've been busy and done much, so what if you feel lazy, doesn't mean you are.
And even if you are, if it's not keeping you from doing ANYthing, you did enjoy your summer (just like when we were on school breaks), so isn't that a good thing?
Note: Maybe I'm saying this because I've been feeling the same way, meh.
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