sotto voce

The new blog...

2010-03-11T12:09:00.002-05:00

is up.

http://puremettle.blogspot.com

Maybe I'll see you over there.

Signing off.

2010-02-11T13:44:00.002-05:00

Oy.

Sorry little bloggy. I think it's time to abandon you.

For many, many, many reasons... I feel the desperate need to start over.

This blog pretty much did what I wanted it to do, which was give me an outlet for just getting things OUT. I want to keep blogging, but I really feel like I need a new home. So, if you care to be updated when I start my new one, let me know and I'll keep you in the loop.

Twenty-ten

2010-01-06T07:55:00.002-05:00

2010 is going to be a fantastic year. I feel it.

Lots of changes coming to the blog, not sure if I'll keep it here or just start a whole new one. Or, both?

In the meantime, the three of you that read this, forgive my absence. Things have been so busy and I honestly haven't had much to say. And now I do have things to say but well, can't quite say them yet.

I made a few resolutions this year but I'm already re-working them. More on that later.

Any of you make a resolution or two?

Hm.

2009-11-30T08:09:00.002-05:00

Well, apparently when you abandon your blog for months you start getting weird penis-enlargement ads in your comment sections.

So I thought I'd just say a quick Hello, stop asking me to enlarge my penis, and while you're at it, you can take a peek at this YouTube video my mother-in-law forwarded to me.

Here is the description from YouTube: Our employees put together this video to generate breast cancer awareness throughout our hospital system. We had a ton of fun putting this together and hope it inspires others to join in the cause

The older gentleman who is a janitor - he really gets down. It's impressive as well as adorable.

Continuing Education (part 1?)

2009-09-22T12:58:00.007-04:00

I'm very lucky. In this terrible horrible no good very bad economy, I have a solid job with a great boss, fun coworkers, and generally interesting tasks. How I feel about what I'm doing doesn't always reflect how I lucky I feel to be doing it. Does that make sense?

Anyway, over the last couple of weeks I've felt really motivated. I am considering auditioning for a show here in Boston (though it looks like the timing may not work out.) I'm writing more (and not just on the blog.)I have been cooking and cleaning and organizing more often the last two weeks than I did all summer. I'm sure some of it is the changing of seasons, a good deal of it is all the working-out, and maybe throw a little bit of the beautiful weather in there too.

All of this motivation in every-day life is bleeding over and becoming a strong desire to learn something new. I'm a student at heart. If I could afford it, I'd get 7 degrees. I'd take continuing ed classes every year. I'd live at the Boston Center for Adult Education. If I had my way, I would immediately - IMMEDIATELY - enroll in the following:

- Personal Training sessions
- A photography class
- Indian cooking class
- Spanish lessons
- Theology classes
- World history classes (Hubby's influence is rubbing off!)
- Sewing lessons
- Home Brewing workshop
- Jewelry making

Really. Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. What I spent my lunch break wondering if I could locate/pass/afford.

I'm guessing that I can pull off at least a few of these things. For instance, I don't actually *need* a home brewing workshop. I understand the brewing process and could pick up a kit and instructions for the house - from there, it's really just trial and error. I could probably grab an Indian cookbook and some equipment and again, figure it out as I go. Books and the internet make it easy to learn about world religions and history, and the fact that Hubs is a social studies teacher means I have access to a lot of resources. Still, there's something about being in a classroom or a workshop. Sitting at a desk surrounded by the other students and the materials, doodling in the notebook margins when there are breaks. Going home with your head full of new ideas, wondering what old, no-longer-useful information has been kicked out in favor of something more interesting, more relevant. But my work days tend to be long, and classes are expensive.

The good news is that my work days are long because I have a flex schedule. I work longer hours Monday through Wednesday and every other week I get a Thursday or Friday off (for instance, last week I had Friday off, I work 5 days this week, then next week I get Thursday off.) I think I need to start putting those Flex Days to better use. Usually I do a lot of cleaning and laundry on those days, but maybe I can also start using those days to try something new.

Of course, that means I'll have to find another time to do what I normally do on those days: watch "A Baby Story" and cry.

Just a quick ramble on the gym...

2009-09-21T16:48:00.003-04:00

Well, it's going to be a while before I'm buying a whole new wardrobe, but there are definitely some immediate benefits of this whole, wake-up-and-work-out thing. I've noticed that getting up at 4:30, I'm really not any more tired than I am when I wake up at 5. I mean, it's 30 minutes. For some reason, that can make a huge difference when I'm taking a quick nap (or a Quap, as Wifey calls it) but in the morning, that extra 30 minutes of sleep does nothing for me. Last week, on Wednesday I didn't go to the gym and instead slept until 5... and I felt like crap all day. I was just as tired when I got up, couldn't stay awake on the train, and needed 3 times more caffeine than I did my gym-going days.

SO... the immediate benefits:
- Getting a work out in and not having to worry about it later in the day.
- Feeling less bloaty and gross all day long.
- No more french toast cravings. After the gym I really want healthy food.
- Things that would normally stress me out are just... not.
- More productive at work.
- Sleeping better at night.

Does it sound like I'm trying to convince myself that waking up so early to work out is a good idea?! That might not be too far off. It's definitely not easy for me.

Adults Behaving Badly

2009-09-18T09:27:00.006-04:00

We grow weary of your nonsense.

Is there anything more annoying than dealing with an adult who has such a sense of entitlement that he or she routinely acts like an overgrown Veruca Salt? It's something that, I think I can say with a fair amount of certainty, one will have to deal with in any profession, any social circle.

In my job - a job in which I daily have to explain to people what they have done wrong to result in damage to their precious 1997 Corolla, or that they've been caught lying in order to try and save money - there are three kinds of "guilty" parties:

1. The "I know I did something wrong" crowd who was just hoping to not get caught. They will either accept their fate or fight you to try and put on a show, threatening lawyers and calls to the local news... but it's just embarrassment and you'll never hear from them again after you hang up.

2. The "I had no idea I was doing something wrong" group - they'll cry and give you some sob story, but usually you can just advise them to read some law somewhere and that's the end of it.

3. The "the rules don't apply to me" bunch. These are the guys (and they come in both genders) that really get to me. They are almost impossible. There is no logic, no cause-and-effect speech that will make them understand that they, too, have to be decent human beings. We are not all here to serve them. They will fight with you about anything and everything that doesn't result in the answer they want. For HOURS if you let them. I had a guy argue with me for 15 minutes the other day that Town A is RIGHT NEXT TO Town B, when in actuality they are on opposite sides of the state - one near Rhode Island and one closer to New Hampshire. Yes, I fought him on this for 15 minutes before realizing how stupid it was (at that point, my response became: "GO LOOK AT A MAP!")

There was another example of "better than the rules" behavior in my state very recently, where a school superintendent literally threw a hissy fit at a (taped) meeting because he was asked to stop being so rude. This is the SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT. And what's more, he's a man who insists on professionalism from all of those around him - apparently, he doesn't require it from himself. Needless to say, he is no longer superintendent, and now it's becoming clear that he was a bully for a good deal of his career.

What happened to "The Golden Rule"? I believe that there are more decent, conscientious people out there than not, but sometimes it seems like the world is being taken over by those who believe they're above the rules of simple human decency - commonly known as "Inconsiderate Assholes."

Sometimes I really miss working with kids. At least when they act like children, they have an excuse.

Mornings for the Non-Morning Person

2009-09-17T09:00:00.005-04:00

On Sunday night, Hubs and I lost our minds and decided that Monday morning, we'd wake up early and go to the gym.

O....kay...

First off, neither one of us is a morning person. As it is, we have a lot of difficulty waking up around 5:15, 5:30 so that we can both get ready (1 bathroom) and get to work on time. Most days, I'm on a train at 6:40am. Thus, I have always responded to the suggestion of a pre-work workout with one of the following statements:

"I could never get up early enough."
"It takes me too long to get ready, I wouldn't have enough time to work out."
"Gym opens at 5am, I have to be on a train at 6:40am, I'd miss my train every day."
"That idea sounds truly awful."
"&*$! you."

So I don't know what possessed us. Sure, it could have been that we've both been feeling lazy and gross and unmotivated and we thought this would be a good shot in the ass. Maybe our brains were taken over by a Maenad (sorry, still thinking about this season of True Blood.) Perhaps we just wanted to see if we could do it.

Well, we could, and we did, and we did again and again.

Know what? I love it. It's the best decision we've made in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I hate waking up. I struggle to get out of bed. I want to hit that damn snooze button so badly. But I've figured out that the reward is greater than the sacrifice of what really only amounts to about 30 minutes of sleep. It's only been three mornings but my thought process has changed dramatically:

Monday morning, getting up at 4:25am. Thoughts: "WTF am I doing? Maybe Hubs will go without me. Maybe he'll forget and go back to - nope, he's getting up. He's turning on the light. F*** this, this sucks, I'm never doing it again."
Monday afternoon: "I feel amazing. So awake and happy. I'll probably be ready for bed by 7pm."
Monday evening: "Know what might be fun? A hip hop class at the gym tonight." (Yup, Mindy and I went, 8pm-9pm.)

Tuesday morning, getting up at 4:25am. Thoughts: "Okay. I can do this. I felt good afterwards yesterday. I'm so tired. My legs hurt. Okay, getting up. I can do this."

Wednesday morning, purposely skipping the gym and waking up at 5:30am. Thoughts: "I love sleeping in! Wait, did I just consider 5:30am sleeping IN?"

This morning, sleeping through first alarm, waking at 4:45am: "Hubs is thinking it's too late for us to leave and still get a workout. Should I tell him I can take the later train today? Fine I'll tell him... Oh, good he might want to go back to sleep... No, you know what? He and I will both feel like crap if we don't go to the gym. We're doing this."

I can seriously say that doing these A.M. workouts, I feel the best I've ever felt. It makes me feel not only healthier, but more in control of my life. It makes me feel strong because not only am I doing something I didn't think possible, I'm actually getting a *better* workout. I'm more productive and positive at work, sleeping much more soundly at night, and just happy with myself for making the choice to be better.

I don't want to hear that it's not possible for anyone to wake up and work out in the early morning. You can say you don't want to do it, that it's not worth it, that it wouldn't work for you, that you prefer mid-day or evenings. But it's not impossible.

It's hard. Sometimes it sucks. But it's not impossible.

Cheese and Whine

2009-09-16T17:05:00.001-04:00

I keep a blog on the weight watchers website, and it's so CHEESY. I mean, I'm all "I'm so proud of myself" and "This was really hard today" and "I find this really inspiring."

It kind of makes me want to puke but it's also really, well, honest.

It's not that I'm a liar, it's just that I tend to - devalue? I guess that's the word I'm looking for - I tend to devalue a lot of things. I don't know why.

Someone says, "You look like you've lost weight."
I say, "I think it's just the shirt."

Someone says, "Are you okay, you seem down today."
I say, "I'm just tired."

Someone says, "Wasn't it hard growing up like that?"
I say, "It wasn't a big deal."

Well, I am losing weight and I am down sometimes and it was a big effing deal.

So why don't I just SAY THAT? I think maybe I worry that people will think I'm trying to get attention. I dunno. I can't put my finger on it. That's what she said. Hm.

When it comes to the blog, I think my issue is that people I know read this thing, while the WW one is pretty anonymous. Everyone in that community is going through similar issues, and most people have some kind of pseudonym. I didn't bother with a pseudonym here because most of the people that read it actually know me in real life, and I also just didn't have the energy to think of something clever. I was never going to come on here and bash my job or my coworkers or my friends and family, so I don't have a problem with people figuring out who I am. (Plus, sometimes I look kind of good in photos, and I will totally want to post them here when that occurs.) Point is, I guess I don't mind people knowing what is happening in my head, but I have a hard time talking about it in person. I'd go so far as to say that I write so that I won't HAVE to talk about it in person!

I'm sure I've said this before but I'm really going to try to stop worrying so much about sounding like a total cheeseball when I post things on here. It's inevitable. I'm going to sound like a foolish dork 98% of the time. Because I am one. And whatever if people think I'm posting things just to get attention. It's a fricking blog which is totally egocentric in the first place. Just because I don't try to get followers doesn't mean I'm not a big ol' attention whore just by having the damn thing.

Apologies for the totally disjointed post here. I'm tired, and I'm about to go home, and my mind is moving faster than my fingers.

Welcome, September

2009-09-01T07:43:00.006-04:00

Most years I feel a certain amount of regret that the summer is coming to an end. Most years I dread the oncoming winter so much that I am barely able to enjoy the few weeks, sometimes days, of true autumn weather before it's freezing.
This will not be one of those years.

Apart from all the rain, it's been an amazing summer. I didn't get to perform or do anything particularly creative like I'd hoped, but I still managed to have one of the busiest summers I've ever had. There were weddings, parties, vacations, family events, weekly traditions, and more vacations. I did a ton this summer; yet, somehow I feel the laziest I've felt in a very long time.

The other night Hubs and I had a conversation about our utter lack of drive. I've been MIA from the gym, horrible at tracking for Weight Watchers (though somehow doing pretty well, which is not making it easier to track), procrastinating, making excuses, lazing around... Hubs and I both feel we've kind of let life run away from us. Usually I get more motivated when I'm busy but this whole "I'm on vacation" mentality has killed me this summer. I've done the bare minimum (everywhere but at my actual job) and I'm feeling totally immature and dumpy.

In short, I suck right now.

Sometime between the conversation with Hubs Sunday night and the train ride to work yesterday morning, I started to feel some actual drive. I got to work and immediately made two folders for to-do lists and notes to myself - one for work and one for home. I was crazy-busy at work all day but got home and made a pretty fantastic (albeit easy) dinner. Today I got in early and took care of some important business immediately. I've already knocked half of the "to-do" items off my list for this week.

I realize this spurt of drive and energy is not going to last forever. The key is to make certain things routine so that when I *do* have a lazy day, it doesn't ruin the rest of my week/month/season. So I'm excited for fall this year because I'm going to use it as a beginning point to get my shit together again. I'm not 100% sure what that means yet except that I'm going to set some goals and do my best to keep them.

I suck, but it's only temporary.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, or Sucks to be This Guy

2009-08-19T15:43:00.004-04:00

This article made me giggle, partially because I'm like, 12.

Also, I will never again say "I love grilled cheese sandwiches" without blushing.

Allergic to "grilled cheese" - Love Letters - Relationships questions, advice and more

Posted using ShareThis

admiration

2009-07-31T10:40:00.005-04:00

Somehow my last post disappeared. Hm.

Anyway.

I just wanted to take this moment to introduce you all to my new GirlCrush. Her name is Deborah Ann Woll, and she plays Jessica in True Blood. She's amazing on the show, flipping hilariously and effectively between such extreme emotions. Also, she's totally adorable.

Any of you kids watch True Blood? I'm hooked. I want Lafayette to be my best friend. We would take Valium and say hilarious mis-pronounced things together.

::Interesting and Witty Post Title::

2009-07-27T09:11:00.007-04:00

Here are some of the things you would have been doing recently, if you were me.

1. Going on a mini-vacation at the beginning of the month, but mostly looking forward to the REAL vacation. That's the one that's coming up August 1st and lasting until August 8th.
1a. Chanting "4 more work days, 4 more work days" all day today.

2. Checking in on your pal Scott as he bravely and awesomely discusses his goals for weight loss, fitness, and, oh yeah RUNNING THE MARATHON in 2012. Check him out, he's rad and has a fun url: http://www.fatguytofastguy.com/

3. Playing obsessively with your new Canon SX10.

4. Switching to a lower pants/dress size.

5. Going to a Super Kick Ass Bachelorette Party and learning the following equation: (Party bus + margarita bowls + salsa dancing) x 15 hot ladies = Epic Win For All
5a. Also learning that SUPERB salsa dancing skills can turn a semi-attractive guy into a universally appealing sexhottie.

6. Thinking about how nice it must be to have Important And Meaningful Blog Entries on occasion.

7.Freaking out over the leaked New Moon promos from Comic-Con because it looks like it's actually going to be awesome instead of... well... HORRENDOUS like the first one (which I still watch over and over because I suck.)

8. Watching the Alice in Wonderland trailer and wondering if Johnny Depp will ever again be able to play a quirky British character without sounding exactly like Capt Sparrow (and deciding: probably not.)

9. Trying desperately to catch up on work while drowning in aggravating phone calls and mountains of paper.

10. Spending some awesome quality time with the Hubs while he's on summer break from teaching.

Just a note:

2009-07-09T13:46:00.001-04:00

The surest antidote to the tempting smell of McDonald's is the bag being clutched by a fat lady who is taking the elevator to the 2nd floor.

the rain has stopped and i feel like sharing

2009-06-25T09:45:00.004-04:00

Everyone But Me Is An Idiot: a play

2009-06-24T14:43:00.004-04:00

Act 1, scene i.

A busy office. Our Heroine is trying desperately to keep up with her new work and simultaneously deal with issues that keep arising on older business. She's growing increasingly stressed and anxious, as well as cranky.

The telephone rings.

Heroine: (standard long cheesy greeting)
Other Company Rep: Yeah, hi. I need to know why you haven't paid us back for this file.
Heroine: Okay, well can I have the reference number so I can try to help you out?
OCR: Oh.. yeah... hold on.

(OCR mumbles to herself and shuffles paperwork while Our Heroine's mind starts to wander to the *important* business she could be taking care of right now.)

OCR: Here it is. (Rattles off reference number very quickly.) Now I need to know what is going on. Why weren't we paid?
Heroine: Well, it looks like we didn't pay you because we have already paid the vendor.
OCR: What? But WE paid the vendor! We need to be reimbursed.
Heroine: Well, we can't reimburse you because we already made a payment... directly to the vendor.
OCR: We paid the vendor on 5/4.
Heroine: Yes, I see we got your request for reimbursement on 5/07. However, we had already paid the vendor on 3/30. They must have billed you in error.
OCR: What day did you pay them?
Heroine: 3/30/09.
OCR: (angrily) Yeah, excuse me, but why in the world would you pay them on 3/30 if you got my reimbursement request on 5/7????
Heroine: Hm.... well... maybe because 5/07 is AFTER 3/30? We made the payment first.

Pause.

Pause.

OCR: Oh.

(OCR quickly hangs up)

Heroine: (far too loud for professional environment) Fucking retard.

*** end scene ***

10 Things

2009-06-23T16:59:00.002-04:00

1. I've been re-reading Harry Potter 7 as slowly as possible. I rushed through it the first time, and that was right when it came out, so I'm trying to really drag it out and get everything into my head. There are a lot of really intense points I had forgotten! (This all started b/c I re-read HP6 in preparation for the movie next month, and of course I then had to continue on in the canon...)

2. It has been raining almost constantly for 3 weeks. Very little sun, very little warmth. I resent the fact that I'm dealing with S.A.D. in what is supposed to be the summer.

3. I'm completely overwhelmed at work. Some people use that as a kick-off to really dig in and get shit done - not me. I shut down. I can't help it. The undertow only needs a little bit of hold before I let myself get dragged under. The combination of feeling crazed at work and depressed with the weather has got me seriously... well, under.

4. I didn't think I'd ever get addicted to Twitter... but it happened. Admitting it is the first step.

5. We have recently purchased a cable package that includes HBO and DVR. My life will never be the same.

6. On that same note, newest TV discoveries? True Blood and Rescue Me. And I'm pretty excited about Entourage starting back up next month, too!

7. K'naan's Troubadour is still holding my vote for best album of 2009. There are still plenty of albums out there for me to listen to, and half a year left... but this one is going to be tough to beat. If you like *good* hip-hop, you should check it out. Very eclectic.

8. My husband is the greatest person ever. I never wrote about my birthday (back in May) - he really made it wonderful. And he continues to amaze me daily. So, yeah. ::end mush::

9. My tomato and jalepeno plants are doing okay despite the lack of sunlight. I can't wait till I'm making salsa.

10. I bought this: http://tinyurl.com/4bnz3m Just waiting for it to show up in the mails!! I keep checking the order status on Amazon like it's going to change the shipping date.

heh

2009-06-04T23:56:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been noticing a few problems with my ipod. I'll download a video (the first episode of "Nurse Jackie" or "Glee" for example) and the sync seems to happen correctly, but then I can't find the video on the ipod. Or I watch something once, and a couple of months later when I go to watch it again, I can't find it in the ipod (but it's still in itunes.)

A couple of weeks ago when I was having trouble w/ itunes, I googled the issue and was able to find a solution really quickly. I decided to do the same thing tonight. However, I only got as far as "Why"....

because when I type "Why" I get a drop-down selection of the following possibilities:

Why is the sky blue
Why do men have nipples
Why did the chicken cross the road
Why do cats purr
Why men cheat
Why did Chris Brown beat up Rihanna
Why do dogs eat poop
Why did I get married
Why is a raven like a writing desk
Why is my poop green
Why is this movie called bees
Why is Michael Jackson white

I feel like I've been confronted with the greatest of our world's mysteries, and contemplating them all is enough to tire me out. I no longer have the energy to look into my original problem.

So if you have any idea, please let me know.

Also, let me know if you figure out why this movie is called bees.

kthanxbai

obligitory post

2009-06-04T08:25:00.004-04:00

I don't really consider myself a "Blogger." Yes, I have a blog, but that's different. I think the idea of BlogHer is very cool, but I don't see myself ever going. I don't really get into the comments/followers/"awards" thing. For me, the blog is just a way to get some of my shiz out, and to have kind of a running commentary on my life as it goes. The interesting (which is rare) and the mundane (much more common.)

If I did consider myself a "Blogger" I guess this would be one of those times that I'd write an entry flagellating myself for being a Bad Blogger. Entries have been sparse as well as uninteresting, and when I have actually had the chance to catch other people's entries, I have not had time to comment. Life is just getting in the way - work is nuts and I don't want to be on the computer when I'm at home.

So yeah, I'm still around, and I'm still reading the blogs on my Blogroll (which desperately needs to be updated, btw.) Just.... LIFE. Sigh.

Also - Um, GO NEW HAMPSHIRE! If Rhode Island jumps on the bandwagon, New England will be a region of equality. Some people in CA and NY and the rest of the country need to figure out that marriage is a LEGAL issue and not a RELIGIOUS issue. If your church doesn't want to grant a same-sex marriage, that's fine. But once upon a time, someone figured out this idea of Separation of Church and State. Pretty great idea, if you ask me. So get your heads out of your asses and realize that the world will end because of global warming before it will end because of marriage equality. Inter-racial marriage used to be banned too. And if it were still banned we wouldn't have Seal and Heidi Klum populating the world with beautiful mixed-race English/German children who will one day save the world with their inherited abilities in singing, modeling, and entertaining reality television.

Ahem. ::Stepping off soapbox::

That is all.

three things

2009-05-29T09:40:00.004-04:00

First off, I'm not sure how I feel about the possibility of Bridget Jones going to Broadway. I love the book so much, I've seen the (first) movie a billion times... but I don't think it would translate on stage. We'll see. Maybe they'll do it and they'll make it great. I remain skeptical.

Secondly, my most recent favorite from textsfromlastnight.com:
(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

Clever girl. :)

Lastly, and most importantly, big time happy birthday wishes go out to my sister! Happy B-day sis! I still haven't forgiven you for being born the day before my birthday and therefore causing mom to miss my 5th birthday party, but I'm working on it. That's your present: my efforts to get over your birth. ;-)

somebody's wife

2009-05-16T17:04:00.002-04:00

Hubs is currently out at a bachelor party for one of our good friends. They went golfing this morning, and are probably currently scarfing down some burgers and beers right now before they all head into Boston. He came home to change right after golfing and it sounds like they've got a great group of guys together (I love alliteration, don't you?)(PS- the golfing was made possible by the fact that I got Hubs a set of golf clubs for his b-day - and I HATE golfing so that means I basically gave him time away from me as a gift. Am I the best person ever or what?)

The wedding is in a few weeks, and then there will be two more weddings this summer. That's going to be followed with at least two more weddings in the fall of 2010. Therefore I've been thinking a lot about weddings - well, my wedding, specifically. It was 3 and a half years ago. October 8, 2005. TWO THOUSAND FIVE. This is just absurd to me. I can't believe I've been somebody's wife for almost FOUR YEARS. And beyond that, we're coming up on our "dating anniversary" which means that in two weeks we'll have been together for 8 years. EIGHT! Christ on a cracker.

My wedding was definitely the best time of my life, and not just because it meant I was married to a really wonderful guy. The RECEPTION, people! It was amazing. Our huge families and as many of our friends as we could invite, all laughing and drinking and dancing. Part of me wishes we could do it all again, just because after a few years of marriage we've become so much closer to each other's families and to some friends, that the same reception now would be even *more* fun. Especially if I could just wear jeans and a t-shirt instead of a big stupid dress.

This could and probably should be the part where I get all gooey and gush over how great my husband is and how lucky I am and how I can't believe he picked me. But I'm just not as open and mushy as some of you. So... He is, I am, I can't but I'm glad he did.

let's open up this hatch... let's open up this hatch...

2009-05-14T10:09:00.004-04:00

Since I've not yet decided how I feel about last night's LOST finale, I will just say this:

Polar. Bear. Riverdance.

A little claims-related humor

2009-05-12T08:59:00.004-04:00

And a list of funny statements from auto-insurance claim forms - I have not submitted any of these, but I could have.

hm.

2009-05-11T08:27:00.001-04:00

Is it possible to just run out of things to say?

can't get it together

2009-04-30T08:36:00.003-04:00

I'm in a pattern when it comes to this blog.

Write, save, delete.

Write, save, delete.

I'm just kind of in a funk. I'm overwhelmed with work stuff, still busy unpacking the new place (which I do love, btw), getting over a cold, going non-stop all the time, not sleeping well, blah blah whine whine whine.

Reason # 73 Why I Love Rachel Maddow

2009-04-15T11:53:00.002-04:00

She shares my juvenile sense of humor.

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

2009-03-27T12:35:00.001-04:00

I can't wait to see this!!!!!!

Moving

2009-03-20T08:11:00.005-04:00

Hubs and I are moving next month. Weee!

Our current apartment is nice. It's freakishly spacious and a walk to the town center/train. There's a cage for storage in the basement. We painted the walls pretty colors when we moved in and have a place for everything. For its size, it's a pretty good price.

Unfortunately, the following is also true: It's in an apartment complex and though our immediate neighbors are great, ~~some~~ most of the other people in the complex are a little sketchy. We've thrice found kids hanging out in our basement. They temporarily stole Hubs's bike (before realizing they knew him from the school where he teaches) and made a general mess of things. The super doesn't fix problems, he just patches them. The bathroom is falling apart. The laundry is coin-operated and consists of one washer and one dryer for 8 apartments - and they are constantly in use (but not by us!) There's no yard. It's incredibly drafty. There's no dishwasher. My oven doesn't fit most standard-size cookie sheets, and the broiler doesn't work. One time we went 7 weeks (Feb-beginning of April) without heat because our connection was broken and the landlord/super gave us the run-around. Nothing is up to code.

The new place is in the same town, in one of my favorite neighborhoods. It is still walking distance to the town center and the train. It is the bottom floor of a two family. It's smaller in area but is really pretty nice. There is character to the layout. It will cost about the same some months, less other months, depending on our utility bills.

But the REAL reasons we're excited about moving? There is a YARD. There is a DISHWASHER. There is a WHOLE BASEMENT for storage and... wait for it....

OUR OWN WASHER AND DRYER!

I can't even tell you.

We weren't necessarily planning on moving right away. For a while we planned on moving to a neighboring town to live above one of Hubs's coworkers, but that plan is based on so many variables that it's starting to look like it might not ever be a possibility. We went back and forth on buying a home, but we are putting it off- although it's supposedly a "buyer's market" - the banks have gotten so crazy about loans that we can't afford a down-payment. Plus the area we want to live in is still totally unaffordable for us.

We looked at a place a couple of months ago that was nice, but way too small. And the yard dropped off into a ditch. For the first time, I had to consider what might happen if we had a kid in the next few years... would I have to keep my toddler on a leash all the time to keep them from dropping off into the quagmire in the yard? Yeah, no, all set with that.

On Monday I was tooling around Craig's List (which I do often) and came upon this new place. The price was right. The description seemed perfect. I made a call to schedule a visit, and excitedly told Hubs about it when I got home. We saw it Wednesday. I was nervous that I would be the only enthusiastic party, but after walking around, both of us were in 100%. We filled out and faxed the applications yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon the landlord told us the deal was done! We'll sign a lease in a couple weeks, and the move-in process will begin April 15th.

Now comes the pain-in-the-ass portion of moving: telling the current landlord (we're At-Will), packing, unpacking, cleaning, re-cleaning, bickering, renting the U-Haul, changing the address...

I've lived in several apartments so I know this won't be perfect. There will be problems and issues and headaches, just like with any other place. But this feels right, so we're going for it.

I will post photos once I'm able to get in and take them.

I can't friggan wait to have my first BBQ.

Crazy girls.

2009-03-19T12:20:00.002-04:00

Did you watch last season of Project Runway?

If you did, and if you are anything like me, you are NOT AT ALL SURPRISED about THIS.

"And the people like me on the job from 9 to 5"

2009-03-10T17:20:00.005-04:00

Okay, okay. I promised myself I'd stay positive so I'm going to try and forget about the fact that I was just on the phone with a 48 year old douchebag with the mind of an adolescent who actually growled at me when he did not appreciate the fact that I would not leave my desk and go write an estimate for his vehicle. Never mind that I'm not licensed to write estimates...

My company recently went through a bit of a... well, a purge, for lack of a better word. Several people were let go. Not laid off, as I understand, but let go for performance or attendance reasons. This unfortunately included an Office Friend.

It has gotten me to thinking quite a bit about my life here. I fell into my current job, thanks in part to Macoosh, who referred me. For a long time, I was truly miserable. I took a lot personally, I had trouble getting over the issues I'd encounter every day. However, as time has gone on, I've grown first to tolerate my job, then to kind of appreciate it. I mean, I have an amazing boss who believes in me, advocates for me, knows when to joke around and when to get down to business. I have great benefits. I get a paycheck and - while others are unfortunately out of work - I just got a raise last week.

I listen to a lot of the podcasts for "This American Life" (which I should really devote several posts to because it's just so good.) A couple of weeks ago, they did a show that centered around careers. One man, who had gotten a job as a telemarketer 'temporarily' and ended up staying there for 10 years, said something that really stuck out to me. I'm paraphrasing here, but he said that he found himself in a position where he wasn't in the career he'd always pictured himself, he didn't love his job or feel like he was meant to do it, but he was really good at it. He was comfortable, liked his colleagues, got along with his boss, brought home a steady paycheck, and was rewarded when he excelled.

That struck me because I find myself in the same position. This is not where I saw myself landing. However, I have figured out that - despite what I have been telling myself for years - I am really, really good at this. I love my boss and most of my coworkers. And while I don't always feel like things are distributed fairly (and really, you find that anywhere) I am acknowledged for my contributions and trusted by not only my boss, but my boss's boss and above.

The other day I had a bit of an epiphany. I keep saying things like, "Well, I'm lucky I get to keep my job" or "I'm so lucky that Boss likes me." And yes, I'm lucky that my company is (so far) not having to do any lay-offs, and I'm lucky that I was matched with a supervisor whose management style meshes with me. When it comes to my life and my job, I am lucky in a lot of ways. But I also work my ass off. I get responsibility and rewards because I do my best, all the time - even though this job isn't exactly my dream career.

I don't know what the future will bring, so I won't say either that I'll be here for years to come, or that I'll be out by such-and-such a date. Things are crazy, and busy, and sometimes very unfair. But I manage. I find ways to get by, ways to deal with the craziness, ways to get through the overload.

There used to be many days that I'd have to physically stop myself from getting up and walking out. Everyone has those days, and occasionally I still have them too. But they're now based on a bad phone call, a mean customer, or my own feeling of being overwhelmed - rather than, say, just kind of hating my life entirely.

So yes, it used to be that the statement in that e-card at the top of the post applied to me every day. But now it only applies when some dickhead with a Maserati decides I should bend to his every whim, and growls at me when I kindly but firmly refuse.

Thank goodness for Italian food, beer, and flex days. How else would I ever cope?!

Strength, thy name is Elizabeth

2009-03-05T08:12:00.004-05:00

And thou hast kicked my ass.

Last night, I tried out a new class called "Body Works Plus Abs" - I knew nothing about it except that it dealt with weight training, and this is something I NEED. Turns out, the instructor was Elizabeth, who also teaches Sunday morning Spinning (which was the toughest spinning class I've ever taken.) She's a lovely Irish lass who is ass-kicking strong and really sweet. I knew I was in for a good workout.

The whole class was weighted movements set to music - for an hour. Things like bicep curls, tricep extensions, lunges, squats, chest fly, shoulder fly, ouch ouch ouch and more ouch. The weights were light but after the 7th repetition or so, you start to really feel it. The class was amazing. I made it through the whole thing without having to put down my weights or stop and rest (aside from quick water breaks between exercises.) The last ten minutes of the class consisted of push ups and ab work.

Last week I had a free consultation with a trainer, and we talked a lot about how effective weight training is when you're trying to get into better shape. Cardio is awesome, of course, but when you build lean muscle, you're furthering your chances of a permanent change. Lean muscle can burn calories while you're sleeping, so you want a lot of it. I had always kind of known this, but for some reason, had shied away from strength training classes.

Well, no more. This class is going to be a regular one for me. I have found my fitness guru in Elizabeth. Plus, I am looking forward to the day that I find myself needing to move to heavier weights in order to be challenged.

I did have some problems when lunging - my feet and calves started to cramp up while we were repeating the lunges. I asked her if I was doing something wrong, but she said my form was good. I have spent all day looking up reasons for the cramping (and the really awful tightness I'm feeling in my right calf today) and it could be anything. I'm going to start stretching my calves and hamstrings every day, and hopefully that will make a difference next time. Any other suggestions? I've heard things like drink more water, eat more potassium... what am I missing?

Sacrifice and all that.

2009-03-04T16:49:00.003-05:00

Even though I am not a regular church-goer, I try to give something up for Lent every year. Well, we're a week in and I've not thought of a thing. I considered giving up alcohol, meat, sugar... things like that. I considered donating $40 to a charity on Easter, which I think I'll still do.

Today I decided that, as schmaltzy and maybe lame as this is, I'm going to try to give up negativity.

Keep in mind, sometimes I REALLY enjoy negativity. I don't like being around heavily negative people, but I think it has its time and place. I can bitch with the best of 'em. I've become more optimistic and mellow over the years, but I totally enjoy a good gossip-fest or venting session. Sometimes I go off on something or someone and I get the response, "THERE'S the Jackie we know and love!" For reals.

And I'm pretty hilarious when I'm bitching, by the way. You might not be able to tell from this blog, but I can be funny. And mean. And when the two are combined, it's like magic.

Macoosh knows this because she's usually present. And contributing.

So because I've been having a tough few weeks, and because I've been getting down and discouraged, and because I have found that old funny/mean streak coming out a lot lately...

I'm going to try to post something positive at least a few times a week. And hopefully, once Easter has passed and I'm allowing myself to despair once again, I'll be able to come here and remember those weeks that I forced myself to look on the bright side. I promise it won't be TOO boring. And it won't turn me into one of those shiny-happy-people-holding-hands types, because that's just not in my genes (which you realize if you have met my parents.)

I'm going to spend this Lenten season recounting the good, sharing the happy, feeling the love.

Starting tomorrow.

Namaste, bitches.

Perhaps someone is trying to kill me

2009-03-03T07:52:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, while attempting to trek to the train station in the middle of a snowstorm, I slipped down some of the stairs that lead from my apartment to the street. Luckily I fell into fluffy snow, so no harm done. (I ended up turning around 15 feet later and coming into work late because I just wasn't going to safely make it to the train.)

Today, while walking past Sebastian's here in Boston, two giant chunks of ice fell from the roof of the building and landed on me. One chunk hit my head, one chunk hit the top of my back. For a split second I was really confused and saw birdies like on Tom and Jerry. Then I realized I had been hit with balls of ice and thought that someone was throwing them at me. Only as I looked around for the culprit did I realize the ice had come from above.

So maybe God is all pissed off at something I did or didn't do, and maybe (S)He is making up for what ended up being a light fall yesterday by trying to smite me with ice. Or someone is standing on the roof of Sebastian hurling ice chunks, or maybe the store just should have put out one of those "Caution: Falling Ice" signs. I think all of these options are equally plausible.

What's kind of funny is that yesterday while walking to South Station, I was noticing lots of "Caution: Falling Ice" signs and wondering if they do any good. I mean, what are you going to do? Not walk? There are high rooftops everywhere, and there is definitely ice and snow everywhere at the moment. I decided that the only reason for the sign is to cover the establishment's ass when someone gets beaned by said falling ice.

Now... well, now I'm pretty sure the other reason is so that when someone does get beaned by said falling ice, they're not surprised and therefore don't stand around crosseyed and searching for an ice-ball hurler in the vicinity.

My f***ing head hurts. Good morning to you too, world.

Things I learned in February

2009-02-26T14:16:00.003-05:00

* When I'm having a difficult time focusing at work, just gritting my teeth and trying to focus makes things worse. It is much more helpful to take a 10-15 minute walk around the city and let myself daydream/window shop/take photos/etc. When I get back to my desk, I'm ready to get down to business.

* On the same note, I need to carry my camera with me more often. Too many good photo-ops passed me by in February.

* Despite having an untoned tummy, I can totally keep up with an ab routine.

* I am just never going to feel like I got enough sleep on a work day. The more quickly I accept that, the easier it will be to do everything I have to do.

* I might actually get to go to Italy before I'm 30.

* Accountability makes all the difference.

movement

2009-02-09T16:35:00.006-05:00

There are a lot of ups and downs going on lately. A bad day will suddenly turn around with something as simple as a hilarious moment at work. A remarkable day sours with a phone call.

A Monday looks promising when I wake up without difficulty, and then becomes a huge pain in the ass when my train is more than an hour and a half late. Grumble.

Luckily, the weekend consisted mostly of Ups. A girlie movie night sitting in the Luxe level at the new cinema, drinking beers and eating pizza in a comfy chair. Another girlie night, but this one in Macoosh's place, giggling and shouting and reconnecting and giggling some more (adult novelty items do make me giggle quite a bit... I never claimed to be mature.) Some quality time with the Hubs, some much-needed grocery shopping and cooking, and some even-more-badly-needed cleaning... all with the windows open. I mean, yesterday was BEAUTIFUL. My brain was all a-twitter with excitement: the smell of melting snow, the warmth (and seratonin) of the sun, the light at the end of the Winter Tunnel.

If I can get past the distraction of mi familia and the shortness of my patience with all of humankind, this week should bring its share of good times as well.

Here's hoping.

venting

2009-02-02T16:47:00.003-05:00

I just had one of those days that really, really, really sucked.

And if I hadn't been having day after day just like that for the past couple of weeks, I think I'd be able to deal with it in a much healthier way.

Every work day has just been beyond hellish. My desk is a mess. Every phone call is painful. I'm getting screamed at, lied to, bitched out, and talked down to by 8 out of 10 callers. Every time I start to focus in on one thing, I get distracted by something more urgent, and then I just get behind in everything. My patience is starting to wear thin, and my ability to hide that is wearing even thinner.

And it's not done snowing yet, which means my professional life is not done sucking yet.

I work for a good company. I do. Every job, every workplace has its problems, but this one has benefits that outweigh the issues.

But I need a stinking vacation, stat.

Thanks, Google horoscope

2009-01-28T14:37:00.002-05:00

That was exactly what I needed to hear today:

You might not be sure about your new direction at work, but don't let that stop you from showing up with a positive attitude and doing the best you can. Your sense of identity could be muddied now by all the amazing possibilities that you see around you. The problem is that turning a dream into reality isn't as straightforward as you think it should be. Take it easy on yourself; your path will clear in time for you to arrive at your designated destination.

Follow your dreams.... I think....

2009-01-21T08:19:00.005-05:00

Did you guys here about this?

Hey Joaquin Phoenix, remember when you were attractive? And a good actor? What's up man?

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate individualism (whether dressing like a homeless person makes you 'individualistic' is another debate, but let's say for now that it does.) I support following your creative instincts and choosing your own path. I appreciate that you're going to put yourself out there. I had thought that maybe when you said you'd pursue music, you meant like, alt-rock or maybe something a little folksy. I didn't expect "rap" but whatev. I mean, okay if it makes you happy.

....But what about me? Don't I deserve to be happy? I don't like seeing you like this.

I like seeing you like this:

Sigh.

I don't understand why people don't run these ideas by me first.

It's too early to think of a title

2009-01-15T07:47:00.003-05:00

I always knew Steve Carell was awesome. I knew it years ago when I watched him on The Daily Show, yelling at Stephen Colbert. I knew it so totally that I forgave him for "Even Almighty." Come to think of it, his wife is pretty great too. She's another one I used to love on The Daily Show. So, great couple through and through. Here's proof.

I think Steve Carell is originally from Concord, MA, but I did know that he spends a lot of time in the South Shore. I hear tales of him shopping at the South Shore Plaza, taking his kids to the Aquarium and Science Museum. I watched an episode of "Ace of Cakes" where they made a cake for a premier in Boston, and Steve Carell seemed so humble. (He even told Duff from "Ace", "I am a huge fan, I watch your show all the time!" Can you imagine hearing that from Steve Carell?) Now, I imagine this little general store is going to be overrun every day from May to August, with people just hoping to get a glimpse of Michael Scott selling penny candy.

I'd like to catch him in there one day. I would love to have the chance to just say thanks for not forgetting Massachusetts, and thanks for making me laugh all the time. Also, I'd ask him to tell Jenna Fisher that she's on a "Get-Out-of-Jail-Free" List in Mass (Hubs loves her.)

Perhaps I'd bring him a gift basket complete with a love note and turtle candy.

Let's face it though, if I did go and he was there, and if I did get the chance to speak to him, I'd probably mutter something incoherant, hand him the wrong amount of money for whatever I'm buying, swear inappropriately, and I dunno, poop or something.

I have never been one to get star struck, but in his case I might.

::Edit:: The quote on today's date on my Office day Calendar actually happens to be the one regarding the gift basket! Weird.

"Ryan wants everything in our company to be about e-mails and IM's. ButI think he is forgetting about the original instant message: letters attached to baskets of food."

And one more for good measure:
"Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini Alfredo, and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Today I had a triumph of the human body. My guts. My heart. While I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I am very, very proud of that."

Tara and Bella

2009-01-13T16:51:00.002-05:00

You may have seen this. If not, it's worth watching. I've already watched it 3 or 4 times - partially because I'm kind of obsessed with elephants, partially because it's just amazing and adorable.

Get past the host's cheesy "pack their derms" line.

Pondering

2009-01-08T16:52:00.001-05:00

I think I might follow Macoosh's lead and go private.
Sometimes the interwebs scares me.

Links links links

2009-01-08T08:35:00.003-05:00

SparkPeople's "The Daily Spark" just came out with the 11 worst foods of last year. Looks like they were all new additions to their restaurants' menus. The only one of them I have consumed is the Starbucks hot chocolate, and I got one made with skim milk, so I'm not sure how many calories that actually had.

The article is here. Mostly fast food items, of course.

************

And for all of you lovers of "The Office":

Hottest toy of the season can be found right HERE
Some people have way too much time on their hands, but I love them for it.
Thanks to Chris J for showing me this one!

Going out of my mind

2009-01-06T13:30:00.007-05:00

Hey, you know when you do that thing, where you really want to do something specific, but you drive yourself crazy wondering if it's worth it because you might suck and everyone will think you're an idiot, so you keep going back and forth deciding yes, no, yes no, yesnoyesnoyesnoyes...

I do that ALL THE TIME.

I'm doing it as we speak.

I have been second-guessing my every move, my every thought and impulse. This is a good thing when the thought is "Oooh I should surprise my husband by purchasing tickets for a trip we can't afford!" But when it's about moving, or going back to school, or auditioning, or taking a test, or sharing my goals, and I just DON'T because I'm think that I'll fail and EVERYONE WILL KNOW.....

not so good.

This is stupid. I know that. I am a very intelligent person, and I can recognize that I am being ridiculous. If I were talking to me, I'd tell myself to get a grip.

You can tell me. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Okay.

I'm at work, and break time is just about up. I can't delve the way I want to delve. When I'm here I only have time to think about work, and when I'm home I'm too tired to think about much of anything. I might need to force some reflection time on myself.

PS: I watched this show DietTribe on Lifetime last night - totally a Lifetime show but kind of awesome. These 5 friends are embarking on a weight-loss show together, and getting trained by a really, really cute personal trainer/fitness model. If anyone is interested in maybe starting a little support/check-in type group for similar reasons, let me know. Even if it's just a weekly email rather than a blog.

I'm sure we can find a hot blond fitness model to train us for free. They're everywhere, right?

I've only been up for 2.5 hours, and I want to go back to sleep.

2009-01-05T07:39:00.005-05:00

I'm guessing it's my usual winter SAD nonsense, plus the holidays and vacation days I've recently had, but the last few months I've had the most difficult time getting out of bed in the morning. Saturday morning I slept until 11:15. This is absolutely unheard of for me... my "comfortable" wake up time, with no alarm, is 9am. If I go to bed after 1am, it might be 9:30 or 10. But to fall asleep at 11pm and wake up 12 hours later is ridonculous. I felt awful the rest of the day. Just tired and anxious and cranky and BLEGH.

So Sunday I set my alarm for 9:30 and dragged myself out of bed when it went off - had gone to bed around 2am and was slightly hungover, but wanted to be extra tired when evening rolled around in order to facilitate an easy wake up this morning (alas...) Hubs and I met some friends for a noontime brunch, where I resisted the urge of bacon and french toast and eggs fried in butter, and ordered an egg white scramble with diced ham. According to the menu it was not supposed to come with homefries, but since we knew the waitress I think she gave them to me anyway - oh well. I ate about half of them. Ugh, and also, yum.

One of my bestest is going back to her home in NYC today (or tomorrow?) and I shall miss her terribly. It's been nice having you around, m'dear. I hope 2009 is very good to you, and hopefully we can come see you sometime in the not-too-distant future.

The year 2009 is only 5 days old, and I'm feeling pretty optimistic about it so far. Money will be tighter than usual, what with all the things we want to accomplish this year, and the week down the Cape we'll be taking again, and the three weddings this summer, and the wanting-to-save-for-a-house thing. My new gym opens this month, and since I'm already feeling motivated lately, that will only serve to increase my enjoyment (most days) of working out. I have another review at work coming up in the next couple of months, and hopefully that will go well too. I may have just enough optimism to get me through these long winter months.

Maybe I'll even start waking up when I'm supposed to...

Here's to the new year.

Whoa, it' 2009

2009-01-01T17:20:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

I should stop letting so much time go by in between entries.

Christmas was great. GREAT. We spent Christmas Eve at my aunt's house, and then Christmas Day with the in-laws. They are a great bunch, very much like my own family. I feel so totally comfortable with my husband's family and really love hanging out with them. We had a wonderful day, complete with the most hilarious game of electronic catchphrase EVER played.

I have had the last few days off from work (and therefore have completely stayed away from anything resembling a computer.) These vacation days were last-minute add-ons because I had some time I had to use up - but I may try to do this again next year. Hubs has been off this week (hm, teachers.) and it's been so great to spend some time just hanging out - especially during this crazy time of year.

We spent New Year's Eve with some friends, just eating and drinking and playing Guitar Hero. I really had no desire to go balls-to-the-wall this year so I was happy to just hang out, drink a few, eat too much, and generally chill. Today we had lunch with a friend and then hung out at home for a while with him, talking about pets and books and life in general.

Are people doing the resolution thing this year? I tend to set goals for myself, but haven't thought about it much this year. This year kind of snuck up on me.

I guess above all, I should hope to keep working on myself, keep being aware, keep building on my strengths and repairing my flaws. Two months ago, I decided to stop beating myself up about the things I do wrong every day, and to spend some time each night celebrating the little victories. I started focusing on one thing I had done (or not done) that was a big deal to me, even if it would seem stupid to other people. Often I'd share it with Hubs (and he's very well trained- I mean, well-mannered, and is always excited for me.) I've noticed my attitude change quite a bit since I started doing that. Everything has become a little easier. Eating right, exercising, work... it all feels a little simpler. So I think I'll keep that up.

As far as blogging goes, I have given up on the idea that each post has to be a work of art. So I won't erase an entire post or feel stupid just because I'm not particularly eloquent or insightful that day. Other people are good at that - I don't really share well. I have a real, private journal for that kind of stuff. So while there may be so much going on in my brain, this is often what you will get from me. Little updates, mundane topics, cats with funny captions, links and YouTube videos.

Maybe I'll occasionally throw something new in there just to spice things up. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Dirty minx.

Now that I've got you all titillated, it's time to go take down the Christmas decorations. It's almost January 2nd, which means I've become bitter about the cold and started looking forward to the spring.

Baby, it's cold outside.

2008-12-23T09:25:00.004-05:00

In the past few years I've noticed a significant decrease in my Christmas Spirit. The decorating has gone by the wayside, there have been more sighs than carols, and I find that I don't get excited for Christmas until the day before - and then it's over as quickly as it began.

This year I was determined to be better.

Hubs and I planned an Ugly Sweater Party for early December, complete with a tacky Yankee Swap. What a success! I took a couple of photos but haven't had time to upload them, and no one else has sent me any (ahem, people) but once I get a couple up, I'll try to post them. There were some seriously hideous looks going on. And I was also fantastically impressed with my friends' ability to choose truly tacky gifts. I gave a Sea Monsters science set (think sea monkeys, but weirder-looking)- this was luckily able to be re-gifted by the recipient!

I'm not going to say what I got. I'll just say that my friend the President sure does know how to be tacky AND helpful at the same time. Thanks, buddy!

No really, thanks.

The party actually had the desired effect, which was not only to have a good time, but to get me in the mood to celebrate the holidays. It got me to decorate the apartment, make a Christmas playlist for the Pod, and generally get excited about this stressful and joyful time of year. The Spirit has been waning in the last few weeks with all the nonsense going on at work, but I'm successfully fighting the urge to throw in the towel.

The presents are all bought and mostly wrapped. The plans have been made. I've watched a few Christmas movies, including the Grinch, Charlie Brown, and A Christmas Carol (the Patrick Stewart version won out this year.... mmm Jean Luc Picard.)

I will be getting out of work earlier than usual tomorrow. I'll go to Mass with Hubs and then up to my aunt's for an Italian seafood feast (LOBSTERS! YES!) and too much wine. We'll come home and probably exchange presents at midnight, which has been our tradition the last few years. We'll get up early the next morning, make a sweet potato casserole, and see the immediate families before heading up to his aunt's for more feasting and laughing.

I'm pretty excited.

Happy Holidays to everyone. Hopefully when you celebrate this year, you won't have to deal with this:

more animals

Tiny Orange Bits o' Heaven

2008-12-07T19:36:00.004-05:00

I don't know why it took us so long to figure this out.

I mean, Hubs is pretty much a crackwhore for Cheez-Its. He loves them. It takes a great deal of restraint for him to not inhale entire boxes at a time. I can understand it. I love the fake-cheesy, sodium-addled deliciousness in every tiny square bite. I like every flavor (though we only tend to buy the reduced-fat original kind.)

But Hubs? Crazy for the Cheez-Its.

The other day, while munching on them by the handful, he commented that he thinks we should use them in meals. I replied that I had recently seen an episode of "Food Network Challenge" in which one contestant utilized them as a crusty topping on Mac and Cheese. That night, some friends came over and cooked us a broccoli and cheese casserole, complete with some sprinkled, crumbled Cheez-Its on top.

Since the casserole was so tasty, and since our friends had coincidentally cooked with Cheez-Its on the same day that we had been discussing the brilliance of such a thing, we decided it would be only right to make our own Cheez-It-style meal soon.

So tonight, I picked up some boneless, skinless chicken thighs at the store. I dipped each one in milk, and then shook the chicken in a bag of Cheez-It crumbs. I baked them for 20 minutes, and OHMIGOSH - delicious.

I know this isn't exactly news. I'm sure people do it all the time. But for some reason, we went years without it occurring to us to make Cheez-It Chicken, as it's now called. YEARS have been wasted! The horror! THE HORROR!!!!!

Ahem.

Any time I find a new 'standard' meal - especially one that is easy, fast, and tasty - I get a little too excited. This is one of those times.

So there you have it. Cheez-It Chicken has worked its way into our household. I am already looking forward to eating the leftovers tomorrow, as well as making this same dish with different flavors in the future - Hot and Spicy? Parmesan and Garlic? Yes, please.

It would be great if the Sunshine company could send me a check for every time I said "Cheez-It" in this post.

Next time: Ugly Sweaters, Yankee Swaps, and excellent music. What a weekend it's been.

the beautiful

2008-12-04T12:29:00.007-05:00

I read a story in the Metro this morning about students from the Berklee College of Music rallying to get their professors invited to sing "America the Beautiful" at the inauguration.

I had to check out the YouTube video for myself, and I have to say, I'm behind these guys 100%.

Fun fact: The piano player is a native of Brazil and a new citizen who voted for the first time in this past election.

** My computer is being weird, I can't tell if the embed worked. Here's the link to the YouTube video if you can't see it here...

Big Nana II

2008-12-01T19:02:00.003-05:00

I only have a quick moment but I wanted to say the service for Big Nana was really quite nice. Unfortunately, the last several services I've been to have been for people under the age of 70. Celebrating the life of a 101 year old really does feel more like celebrating.

My dad's cousin did the eulogy, which was touching and funny and everything a eulogy should be. She was an even more interesting and amazing woman than I knew. He started to cry a little when he spoke of her delicious chicken cacciatore.

As Hubs pointed out, "Leave it to the Italians to get choked up about food."

So true.

Hope your Thanksgivings were marvelous. Mine was.

Big Nana

2008-11-26T17:25:00.004-05:00

My great-grandmother passed away Saturday night at the age of 101. She would have been 102 in March.

It's an odd feeling. There is some sadness of course, since she was part of my life. There is concern for my grandmother, who is taking care of so much (though she seemed well when I spoke with her.) There is awe that someone I'm related to lived for so long. There is no anger, no despair, no doubt, as there can be when we lose someone too early.

There is happiness, for my great grandmother, who had been ready to go for a long, long while.

I've been thinking about if and what I should write about her. I'm still not sure.

There are things...

She was a tough old Sicilian broad. Since both of my grandparents were "Nana", my mother's grandmother (who died when I was 8) was "Great-Nana", and this woman was "Big Nana." I still think that's a little funny. She seemed to like it.

She had three daughters, two of whom are still with us, and one autistic son. He died not long ago, at the nursing home where both of them lived when she became to old to take care of him any longer. When I was younger I thought he was a lot like Rain Man - he was different yes, but could do 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzles faster than I could even imagine. Keep in mind, he was born in the 1930s, when it was expected that a "different" child would be sent away to be brought up by strangers in a group home. Big Nana cared for him until the day he died. In fact, when he passed away, I remember hearing that she had decided she was done too. Her job was done. She was ready. Apparently, the world wasn't quite as ready yet, because she held on a few more years.

She and my great-grandfather were both from the same village in Sicily. They didn't know each other there, but both came to America as children and met later on in the Boston area. I'm not sure how or where they met, but Boston was even smaller back then, so surely all the immigrant families knew each other. I'll have to ask my grandmother for the full story.

When I was little, we'd go over to her apartment quite often. She lived in a complex with a lot of other elderly people, not quite assisted living, but not far off. EVERY TIME we'd go, she'd pull out one of those tins of Copenhagen butter cookies. We'd eat until we were stuffed, or until my parents made us stop. Those tins are my biggest association when it comes to Big Nana. She wasn't huge on affection, but if other people were eating those cookies, she'd make sure she saved at least one of the sugary pretzel-shaped ones for me because they were (and still are) my favorite.

She lived through the flu epidemic, and remembered looking out the window, watching carts bring the sick and the dead up and down the streets of Boston. She was alive for the Molasses Flood, the Triangle Factory Fire , Prohibition. Theodore Roosevelt was President when she was born. Barack Obama had just been elected President when she died.

She was raising kids in the Great Depression.

She was alive for the beginning & end of 5 wars: WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and Persian Gulf. (I wish I could say the current conflict had ended in her lifetime as well.)

She was old enough in 1918 to remember the Red Sox winning their 5th World Series. She was still around when, 86 years later, they won their 6th.

She could be a little mean sometimes. (I don't think she thought she was being mean.)

She used to call me (even in April, even in August) to make sure I was wearing a sweater so I wouldn't catch a cold. I used to crack up as soon as I hung up the phone.

When she was turning 97 or 98 she asked for cake and ice cream. She had been diabetic for years and wanted to go out in style. She ate the cake and ice cream, and some cookies. She was fine. Didn't even get a little sick. And she was pissed, because she realized she could have been eating that stuff for years. I still think that's hilarious.

When I went to her 100th Birthday party, which was scheduled at 3pm, I walked in at 3:05pm because I had to run back and grab her birthday card. She couldn't see me very well, but remembered me when I told her who I was. Her first words after "Who's this?" were "You're late." I think my response was: "So you can't see me but you can see the clock?!" I don't think she got my sense of humor.

None of this is who she was... I certainly didn't fully know her. We don't realize until after someone is gone that we have only a partial grasp of who they really were, what they really thought of us and of the world, what they loved and feared.

You just have to hope they knew you loved them, anyway.

I'm happy that you're finally where you want to be, Big Nana.

Thanks for all the cookies.

scatter brained

2008-11-19T09:33:00.006-05:00

My thoughts are very scattered lately. Aside from the usual writing I do in my journal, I've had to spend some time each morning just writing stream-of-conciousness in my "morning pages" notebook (an activity from "The Artists' Way" by Julia Cameron, which is a really hippie-dippie kind of book but has some good ideas.) This seems to be the only way I can clear my head. I've started and stopped a thousand posts here but haven't been able to hit "post."

There's just a lot going on right now. Most good, a little bad. Nothing huge. Unfortunately there is a ton of negativity going on at work (both with the customers and the coworkers, some more than others!) so life at the office has been a little more difficult than usual lately. I've been trying to just choose optimism lately but with the onslaught of winter SAD and other people's nonsense, it ain't easy. I'm basically just holding on until Thanksgiving at this point, since I'll have a nice little 4 day weekend for myself. Oh, and tons of delicious food, which always makes me feel better (ahem, possibly another issue?..... nah.)

But THIS made me laugh, and so with it, I shall end my lame attempt at a post:

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

What a week it's been.

2008-11-07T08:18:00.000-05:00

Just wow.

2008-11-05T08:12:00.003-05:00

This is the first time I've voted for a candidate who actually won. I don't think it's really hit me yet. There was a tear or two during Obama's speech last night, partially because when he started talking about the 106 year old woman, I thought about my 101 year old great-grandmother (she'll be 102 in March!) and all she has seen.

Meanwhile, there is nothing more annoying than listening to people who have NO idea what they're talking about discuss politics.

Edit: This is what I mean - they've been going on and on about the election and all their knowledge regarding all things political, and this just happened:

Talking Head #1 - When does he start his presidency again? February?
Talking Head #2 - No, beginning of January.

Gosh, it' just like being on CNN.

My 200th post belongs to Harry

2008-10-29T11:46:00.000-04:00

autumn

2008-10-24T11:28:00.002-04:00

There are a lot of things I love about living in New England. The history, the landscape, the mix of cities and small, rural towns. I don't so much enjoy the cold of winter, but I know if I moved somewhere warm all the time I'd really, truly miss the seasons.

Especially this one:

shine

2008-10-23T08:46:00.002-04:00

I love watching TV shows about TV commercials from other countries. Is that weird?

I am always fascinated by the fact that this country is so okay with violence, yet so afraid of sex and race and gender and anything else that could be considered politically incorrect. I love to laugh at the hilariously racy or disturbing or shocking ads of other countries. SO much more interesting than the vast majority of our commercials here.

Today, thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I got to see this commercial from Thailand, which does not fit into any of the above categories. Instead, it's more like a mini-movie. Maybe it's hormones and the kinda-crappy week I've been having, but I definitely got a little misty-eyed watching it this morning:

the last few weeks

2008-10-21T08:14:00.010-04:00

Lately I've had no desire, time, or energy to update this thing. It's not that I have nothing to say, or that there's been nothing going on. I just feel like it's not worth updating if I'm not writing something profound (which I never write, so I don't know why the hell I feel that way.)

But remembering that this is mostly a timeline for me, let's see what I can bang out:

Hubs and I had a great anniversary. Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes!!

We ordered take-out Indian food and watched a movie at home (which is what we did the night we got engaged - then it was Love Actually, this time Scotland PA.) Instead of getting each other presents, we like to go away for Columbus weekend. This year we headed north to Portsmouth, NH and Freeport, ME.

It was my first time in both towns, but will not be my last. They are both great little walking-cities. In Portsmouth we hit Red Hook brewery, then a living-history museum (one of those little areas where the houses are set up to look as they did in the 1700s and people are walking around dressed up like colonialists.) We met a friend for dinner at Portsmouth Brewery, where I ate a delicious mushroom sandwich and purchased this shirt:

I have no idea who this guy is, but he's wearing the man-version of my shirt. It says "Make Beer Not Bombs" and is very comfy. When I wore it around the next day I kept having to remind myself that people were looking at my chest because of the words on it - well, that and because of my large ta-tas, but mostly the shirt I think.

That night we drove up to Freeport, ME to attempt to locate my aunt's house, which sits on a dirt road with no streetlights. We did it, but it was much easier to find our way once the sun was up. We spent the next day wandering around Freeport. For those of you unfamiliar, this is the little town with all the outlets and the ginormous 24-hour LL Bean. For the first time in my life, I did some Christmas shopping before late November. My aunt and uncle were there by the time we got back to the house, so we hung out with them and watched the Patriots get killed by the Chargers. I'm pretty sure my uncle would have thrown the TV out the window if it hadn't been mounted to the wall (and oooooh that TV... ) We left on Columbus Day, enjoyed the beautiful ride back home, and got back into our routines.

Can I just stop and say for a moment that it's been pretty cold this last week - but the foliage around here has been more beautiful than it has been in a long, long time. I'll take the trade-off.

Last weekend Hubs and I took a little trip with our friends (including the M.I.A. Macoosh) to Salem for some witchy fun. I gotta tell you, I'm a little disturbed by this place. It's beautiful, and I love it, and I think I would even live there if at all possible. But the Salem witch trials were a really disturbing and tragic part of history (as were the earlier times of witch hysteria in Europe.) I feel like it's a little f---ed up to be walking around the city wearing a cutesy purple witch hat. And some people were **really** dressed up. The Halloween-y stuff was fun, but something about people dressed like adorable witches in Salem... I dunno. It makes me feel a little weird. I do plan on going back in the spring, to hit the Peabody Essex Museum and maybe take a boat tour (a REAL one, not the oops-this-is-actually-a-water-taxi tour Macoosh and I took years ago.)

Photos to come later, if I ever get them uploaded.

And that brings me to tonight - Macoosh and I are going to see "Wishful Drinking" - Carrie Fisher's one-woman show at the Huntington. I'll let you know how it is!

Wordless Wednesday Can't Believe It's Been 3 Years!

2008-10-08T08:38:00.006-04:00

"Just give me the good news"

2008-10-03T17:01:00.003-04:00

Good things:

1. We got to play Palin Bingo while watching the debate last night. This is a pretty fantastic idea and could really be expanded to include all politicians. I'm thinking of making up Obama and McCain bingo cards for the next debate, and maybe getting some blotters for the occasion. We'll see if I feel the drive to take such initiative.

2. Tonight is Oktoberfest at Harpoon! I have officially gotten over the fact that my shows for this weekend were "indefinitely postponed" (more on that some other time, perhaps), partially because now I can party at the Harpoon brewery tonight! Hubs and some of his friends are taking the train in soon, and I'll be meeting them at South Station to catch a shuttle over to Harpoon. Wicked excited. I need this.

3. I was promoted today! Okay, I knew it was coming but it still feels good. Yay promotions! I'm movin' on up.

4. It's Friday. 'Nuff said, really.

2008-10-02T09:17:00.000-04:00

shocking news update.

2008-09-24T07:47:00.002-04:00

There is a lot going on. I don't really have anything else to say, except for this:

It's about time, Mr. Aiken.

Grandpa Gyllenhaal? Is that you?

2008-09-10T15:18:00.004-04:00

Thanks to a brief but entertaining conversation with McLaffs, I noticed today that the Moxie guy bears a resemblence to Hottie McHotterson Jake Gyllenhaal... no?

no more flashing!

2008-09-08T08:23:00.003-04:00

You know what sucks?

Buying a crisp, nice-looking button down shirt and not being able to wear it because of the ridiculous looking gap between buttons right over your boobage.

Know what's awesome?

Suddenly doubling your wardrobe for free because you bought Flash Tape, and now can wear all of your button up shirts with no fear of boob-induced gaps!

This stuff is AMAZING. It's $6-7 for a roll and only a small amount is needed for maximum control. You can apply it directly to your skin to hold fabric in place or use it, as I have, to control the fabric that lies right over the Girls. I bought mine at Intimacy when I went in with Macoosh this weekend, but it's available online too. I'm pretty sure you can also find it at clothing stores (though I'm not sure which ones.)

So ladies - especially those of you with larger-than-average chesticles - BUY THIS SHIT NOW.

To the good people at Flash Tape, you're very welcome for the shout-out. Feel free to send me several free rolls, the Girls and I will need them.

Crap.

2008-09-08T08:15:00.000-04:00

This season lasted less than 8 minutes.

Waiting on an MRI? Guess Tommy Boy is busy being nursed by Giselle. Not a terrible life, I have to admit. But c'mon!

photo is from Boston.com... sigh.

creep

2008-09-03T11:31:00.006-04:00

*
When I was 14 I had to walk by this older man's house on the way to theater rehearsal every day. To and from. He'd always be sitting on his steps drinking a beer. Or five. What started as an occasional "hello" from the steps turned into severe harrassment over the course of a couple of months. I shook it off as much as possible, but one day it got to be too much and my parents could tell something was wrong. When I told them what was happening, they brought me to the police station to make a report. The police were incredibly kind and immediately took action. There must have been previous issues with him because they knew for a fact that he was a drunk and a big ol' perv. He was eventually forced to go to AA meetings, though I don't think he kept up with them. But... whatever the police did or said to him was enough that every time I walked by the house after that, he'd either be inside already, or he'd run back inside or to the backyard as soon as he saw me approaching.

In the grand scheme of things, these incidents weren't all that serious. I'm obviously not going into details here but we'll just say that for a 14 year old it was pretty intense.

Hell, it would probably be pretty intense if it happened to me now.

I'll occasionally get a disgusting comment or two while out and about, and at times it can really rattle me. Usually I respond by acting like a crazy bitch and threatening to do horrible things to the offender's more sensitive areas. I yell at them whether or not they are still standing near me. I point and loudly repeat whatever gross comments the guy(s) just said. And they are horrified. Every.Time. They freeze, they blush, they mutter "sorry!" and then run away. I especially like it when they are old, and I get to loudly chastise their terrible behavior: "You're like 100 years old, don't you KNOW how to speak to women by now?!" (Yes, I've said it. More than once.)

It's win-win for me at that point. Not only do I get to let out any frustrations I happen to be carrying with me, I am hopefully getting them to think twice about acting like such a pig.

But the moment before my own outburst stays with me for hours.

However.

I have the comfort of knowing that where I live, men really *don't* have the right to openly harass me. Usually these little moments are when no one else is around... words practically whispered as we pass. These guys FREAK OUT when I respond to them, when I ask them to repeat themselves, and they freak even more when I repeat their words myself. Because they know. They know what they said or did is not considered to be "okay" by general society. It still bothers me, and it probably bothers you when it happens to you. But we do know that this is not considered by the general public to be acceptable behavior.

That's why it broke my heart to read this story about women in Egypt.

*Yes, that's Sexual Harrassment Panda from South Park. We all know I can't handle a fully serious post. Deal with it.

Barack Obama 8/28/08

2008-08-29T08:27:00.007-04:00

"We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.

...the reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than they are for those plagued by gang violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals.

I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in a hospital and to live lives free of discrimination.

You know, passions may fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal immigrants.

But this, too, is part of America's promise, the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and the grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort."

............

"Change happens - change happens because the American people demand it, because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.

America, this is one of those moments."

............

"...it is that American spirit, that American promise, that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend."

For the entirety of Senator Obama's speech in both transcript and video, you can go here.

I'm such a nerd...

2008-08-14T16:08:00.002-04:00

Because I kind of want this. A lot.

oh, julia...

2008-08-14T14:18:00.002-04:00

Just in case you didn't already think Julia Child was awesome -

she was also a SPY!

I might have myself a new hero....

wordless wednesday makes me wonder why we don't hold church outside.

2008-08-13T07:54:00.005-04:00

okay, okay

2008-07-25T19:08:00.002-04:00

Things got way too busy this week to keep up the post-a-day. But the good news is that one of my stressors is now GONE. I was two men short of a cast for "For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls" - I was getting worried I'd have to completely change the show or something, which I really did not want to do.

BUT - I got me my men.

Now I only have to stress about whether or not I still know how to direct a play.... but I don't so much mind that kind of stress.

choosing optimism: day 2

2008-07-22T09:15:00.002-04:00

Onward with the promise to myself to post one thing every day that makes me feel happy.

This song always makes me want to dance. And I can't dance around without a smile on my face, unless I'm dancing in such a manner that requires me to put my big fake pouty-face on.

I've loved this song for a long time because of both the beat and the lyrics, but I only recently saw the video. So colorful and happy and silly and yes, kind of empowering for those of us with more curves than your average Olsen - which, let's face it, is just about everyone.

MIKA says we're hottttt:

choosing optimism

2008-07-21T12:38:00.004-04:00

Because things have been kind of stressful lately, I have decided that every day this week I will post something that makes me smile instead of going over all the things making me frown.

Thanks for the link McLaffs.

Watch, and I dare you not to smile:

Got my face rocked by JBJ, and more.

2008-07-15T07:57:00.004-04:00

I went to Bon Jovi last week at the Garden. Yes, I did. I went because it was so damn cheap and I thought it would be funny. And yes, it was funny - JonBon's flamboyant hand gestures and "dancing", all the cougars hoping to get invited backstage, the big hair and leg warmers. It also ended up being a really great show. I was afraid they'd just play a bunch of stuff I'd never heard before but they mainly stuck to 80s and 90s gold. It was really, really fun. And Halftime Pizza (across the street from the Garden) sells you 32oz beers. Love at first sight.

Last weekend was jam packed, as my summer weekends tend to be. A girlie date in the city on Saturday night, a girlie Cape day on Sunday. The weekend before that Hubs and I were in the Cape with my family for a few days, and then later his family for a day. And the weekend before that, we were in the Cape with some friends. We love the Cape. A lot. We were actually going to go this weekend too, but he's working. In the end, it's a good thing - I need a weekend of homebody-ness.

And this week? Dinner with the fam, two nights of auditions, cardio kickboxing (oh-my-god-i'm-going-to-suck-so-bad), dinner with the Wife, and then lots of cleaning and cooking and relaxing on the weekend. It's been a long time since I've done these things, and while I'm always up for cooking and relaxing, I'm really, really surprised by how much I look forward to the cleaning. I hate cleaning, I do not find it theraputic, I do not feel accomplished when it's done. However, my apartment is a STY and it needs to be remedied.

And finally, this cracked me up today:

That is all.

survey says...

2008-07-02T11:08:00.002-04:00

We had our production meeting for the One-Acts last night, and I was most definitely NOT the only one without a piece to submit. I felt a little bad about it because I had put a lot of pressure on myself, but there just wasn't time. The good news is that this has renewed my interest in playwriting, and I have the motivation to work on pieces and eventually perform them, or at least workshop them. And luckily, there is now a ready group of people that will be there when I have something that I would like to workshop. So, yay for that.

I am still going to direct, and possibly audition too. I'm directing "For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls" by Durang, which is one of my favorites of all time (I should say, I'm directing that once we get the royalties.) We are going to make this a mix of known and unpublished works. More good news? Macoosh will also be directing and probably acting too!

It just feels really, really good to have a chance at creativity again. It even makes it easier to sit through the work day. I have always thought it would bother me less to work a 9-5 insurance job if I *also* got to do what I really enjoy. I was so right. I love when I'm right. It happens a lot, but that doesn't make me love it any less.

(Not that I'm planning to be in the insurance biz forever, but it's nice to not be miserable all day every day.)

We're meeting again next week to read through some pieces and finalize everything. Auditions are in two weeks.

This is going to be stressful and consuming and hilarious and cathartic and just really, really fun. Everything theater should be, don't you think?

stumble

2008-06-30T18:25:00.003-04:00

Hey, you know what the problem is about trying to write a play?

It takes TIME.

Yeah, that thing I don't have? That.

So we have our production meeting tomorrow and I've got nothin'. I've a million ideas running through my brain but nothing solid. Normally a week might not be too little time for something like this, but it is when you're doing something every day. We went to the Cape this past weekend, which was SORELY needed, let me tell you. But of course on Sunday when I got back I was hungover as all get out and unable to even put three words together, much less write my manifesto. Or anyone's manifesto.

So..... anyone have a 20 minute one act play they want me to direct? The only theme is "absurdity" - not necessarily in the comedic way, and not necessarily in the classic Absurdist way. Just... different from the usual "well-made play" (Look Professer Olf, I'm using terms from your class! I totally deserved that "A"!)

Hahahaha but no I'm serious. If you have one, seriously, let me know. We really want to keep this to original works.

I'm going to keep trying tonight just in caseI get a sudden stroke of genius or something. I may be up all night.

Not so sotto

2008-06-24T20:23:00.005-04:00

I think I've gotten myself into something here...

The group of wonderful people with whom I just finished The Man Who Came to Dinner is thankfully diving right into the next project: a group of (hopefully) original one-act plays. While acting is my first love, I decided that it might be fun to give directing a try on this one. It's been quite a while since I directed anything, and I've never considered myself much of a leader in that capacity. However, it is something I enjoy and a one-act seems like a good way to dive back in. So there I was, volunteering to direct. And then EJQ (my high school theater teacher, btw) remembered, "Wait! You're a writer!"

Well EJQ, I was once a writer, yes. I used to write play after play after play. But it's been a long time, and I'm not sure I have much of that in me anymore.

His response? Basically it was "Yes you do."

So I told him I'd have something for him by next Tuesday.

What am I doing?

I am freaking out, that's what I'm doing. I spent the last hour digging through old scripts trying to find something I might be able to fix/expand/use. My mind is racing non-stop with an idea for something I might be able to throw together before next week, just so I have more than one option. But mostly I feel like I'm going to throw up a little. Writing is something I love (though it may not seem like it from the sparseness and shallowness of this here blog) but I've never had all that much faith in myself when it comes to playwriting.

Luckily, my former teacher here is still 100% behind me. He is still telling me I can and should just do what I want to do. I have said to Hubs a million times that the really good teachers I know are teachers because they can't help themselves. They can't stop teaching. I don't know what the high school drama classes are like nowadays. And I don't think EJQ is doing this on purpose. But apparently there is a part of me that will always look up to him and feel bolstered by his faith in my abilities.

So yeah I'm freaking out. A lot. Not because I *can't* do it. I know I can do it. But I'm deeply afraid of how stupid I might feel when my play sucks compared to everyone else's.

But... I shouldn't feel that way, because at least it will be mine. At least in a span of a few months I'll have gone from someone with no creative outlet to someone who is suddenly acting, writing and directing again.

I am someone who is finding my voice again.

And really, that's the whole point of it all, right?

whoops

2008-06-18T07:58:00.004-04:00

The Man Who Came to Dinner goes up this weekend, and the 15 pounds I had planned to drop prior to the show didn't so much feel like going anywhere. I managed to wrestle a few away, but in the meantime I'm spending the next few days eating all non-bloaty foods and attempting to stay away from beer (but a little red wine is okay, right???)

Because of this, I've never wanted high-sodium crap so badly in my life.

But I haven't been able to get to the gym with this new schedule, so I have to be really vigilant. This morning I'm getting an egg white veggie omelet with some turkey bacon and whole wheat toast. I didn't get much of a dinner last night so I'm staaaaaaaaaaahving.

Random thought: have been thinking of starting a second blog only to document weight loss stuff, recipes, work out video reviews, stuff like that. However, as is my problem when it comes to weight loss itself - I might just be too lazy.

It doesn't feel too much like summer today, but it is sunny and cool which I'm happy to accept. I just need to get through work now, which has not been easy due to my lack of sleep lately (thanks, NBA, for starting the finals at 9pm every night.)

Speaking of the finals....

Man, that was a close one.... ;)

Real life trumps blog life.

2008-06-10T08:04:00.005-04:00

Obviously there has been a severe lack of updating, mostly due to a severe lack of time. Work has been busy as ever, and my life has been taken over by rehearsals, graduation parties, birthdays, and other goings-on of various sorts. I enjoy being busy, but I can't wait for a quiet day off.

Update on the work front: I had my interview for that new position. It went really well, and I was on the list for a second round of interviews. However, after the interview was over and I was able to really weigh my options, I decided to withdraw from consideration. The position would have been easier in some ways than what I'm doing now (mostly because there would be no fighting on the phone), but I realized that I have more opportunity in my current position. I advised the interviewing manager last week of my decision, and he was incredibly kind and understanding. Coming from an arts/humanities background, sometimes it's hard for me to remember that business people just think in a different way. A couple of my MBA friends had to remind me that in business, you are supposed to do what is best for you. My BA is in theater, so I do not so much have a business mind...

Update on the house front: There isn't much of one. We are both really, really into the idea but still need to get moving. Neither of us has had time, but with the school year ending we should have more of a chance to really look into everything. There seem to be at least a few good opportunities kicking around, and the nice thing (for us, anyway) is that the market isn't going to skyrocket again anytime soon.

This week should be the last one to deprive me of sleep, at least for a while. The play is coming up this weekend, and one way or another the NBA Finals will be over after this week. On that note, it would be great if the Celtics could just freaking win on Tuesday so that I don't have to stay up late for a Game 7. I'm tired. And quit it with this come-from-behind stuff. It's all very exciting, yes, but it makes me too nervous.

Matt Damon, you look gorgeous in a Celtics cap. I'm busy this week, but next week should be pretty free. Call me.

I heart my friends

2008-05-31T15:05:00.002-04:00

Thanks to everyone who came out for making it an awesome birthday! I had a great time. :) I'm very lucky to have such awesome friends.

Make sure you send me your pictures!

birthdays galore

2008-05-29T10:08:00.004-04:00

Here she is!

I've had the chance to take her out a couple of times, and I'm sooo excited about it. Turns out the side streets around my apartment are full of hills so riding in the area is a great workout. I'm still getting comfortable riding on busy streets - it's very nerve-wracking. I'm hoping to get some good cycling in this weekend in the park - WOO!

Hubs has gotten me some wonderful and thoughtful gifts over the years, and this one is no exception. Every day I sit at my desk, looking out the window at the sunshine and wanting to be on my bicycle. Luckily I have the day off, so I can make that daydream a reality. Thanks Hubs!

My gift was early; the actual Bday is tomorrow. We'll be celebrating in the city tomorrow night at a fabulous little place called Sunset Grill and Tap - 112 beers on tap alone, people!! How can we go wrong??

Of course, we won't just be celebrating my bon anniversaire... my lil' sister turns the big 2-1 today!! Happy Birthday!!!!

I crack myself up

2008-05-22T16:27:00.001-04:00

I just supplied a name for my friends' golf tournament team.

The Putt Pirates.

Yeah, I know. I'm freaking brilliant.

ommmmmm

2008-05-22T08:19:00.004-04:00

I will be productive, I will be productive, I will be productive.

It's not going very well.

The last couple of weeks I've been beyond tired and completely unfocused. Not just at work, but everywhere. I really don't understand it, as I've definitely been getting enough sleep, exercising, keeping busy outside of work, and eating right. Hubs and I came to the conclusion that maybe I'm not eating enough - I know, it's hilarious. But I've been counting my calories and I've routinely been coming in way under my alloted amount. Until last night we hadn't been food shopping in about 3 weeks so I also didn't have my usual army of power foods. I brought tons of snacks today so hopefully I'll have a turn around.

Until then, I can't focus, so here's some stuff -

New delicious discovery: A sandwich of whole wheat bread, smoked turkey, and Laughing Cow Light French Onion cheese. YUM.

Other new delicious discovery: I LOVE TABBOULEH. Delish with some home-made pita chips. That was dinner last night.

Plan for tonight: Spinning class, piles of laundry, and the Celtics game. GOOOO C'S!

Best part of the week so far: My bike came yesterday! Hubs very kindly picked it up for me and I took it on a little spin around the parking lot. It was starting to rain so I couldn't take her out on a real ride. I think this weekend I'll ride around in the Elks Lodge parking lot near my apartment... need to get used to riding a bike again before I try anything serious. Also, I look so damn sexy in my bike helmet that I want to model it for the world.

Yeah, that's right.

ch-ch-ch-changes (maybe)

2008-05-21T09:34:00.004-04:00

I just passed in an internal application for a new position - one that is NOT in claims. While I find what I do to be pretty interesting (most of the time), I feel like it is time to move on. I don't have anything against my boss or the majority of my coworkers, but I feel like I am kind of stuck. I would love to be a trainer or something in my department but they already have a trainer, so that obviously isn't going to happen anytime soon.

I'd also love more money (okay, I actually need to be making more money at this point) and if I get this position, I would potentially get a raise.

It would also be okay if my boss decided to offer me more money to stay, but well... that's just not going to happen either.

So if I get this new position - great. Hopefully. (Did I mention I fear the unknown?)

If I don't, I'll also be fine.

For a while, anyway.

PUMPED

2008-05-19T07:59:00.003-04:00

My birthday isn't until next Friday, but Hubs was nice enough to surprise me this weekend with my present! We went to a little local store and picked out my new bicycle! I'm really excited - we're picking it up on Wednesday.

Here it is:

Why yes, Jon Arbuckle, I do.

2008-05-06T08:06:00.005-04:00

Life within these salmon-colored walls is dragging. Sometimes I wish I could just let loose with all the things happening here in my cubicle, but I guess it wouldn't be wise. At the moment I'm just feeling overwhelmed. This is common knowledge around here, so I have no problem telling you - completely overwhelmed. Supposedly after this week things will get better, but in the meantime I'm burning out.

So I try to spend my little bits of free time actively working toward my big, big goals. This is a huge improvement for me, because usually I'd just dream and think and wonder rather than actually take steps in the right direction. Am I growing up or just getting fed up? Doesn't matter.

Goal 1: Apply to schools next winter. Work toward M.S. in Speech-Language Pathology.
- Take the GRE's (shooting for September)
- Get some pre-requisite classes under my belt (This is turning out to be more difficult than I originally thought. Only finding classes that happen in the mornings and early afternoons - what about us workin' folk?? Don't we count??)
- Meet with reps at the schools in which I'm interested. (After the GRE)
- Keep in mind that this *may not happen right away* because a lot depends on the financial situation at the time and lots of other bits 'n pieces, and don't feel like a big fat failure if the school part of it gets put off a bit. Do the other stuff anyway and be prepared.

Goal 2: Buy a home!!!
EEK! This is a new one. I mean, it's always been a *life* goal but now it's an actual, both-of-us-want-to-get-on-this goal. We're not going to jump into anything, since luckily we're in the kind of market that allows us to take our time. But we gotta start somewhere.
- Read up on all those home-buying terms I only half-understand.
- Get credit reports and check for mistakes.
- Get pre-approved.
- Meet with one of the several realtors we actually know personally to see what's out there.
- Start going to all kindsa open houses.

Not sure if this will end up being a condo or a townhouse or a little bitty house - we're keeping our options open. All we know is we need a yard and our own laundry hook-up. Just about everything else is negotiable.

I think two gigantic goals are enough to work on for now, don't you? I'm overwhelmed enough at work, I don't need to do it to myself too.

back to a full work week

2008-04-29T07:51:00.004-04:00

I have all 167 of my Vermont photos uploaded to my computer at home. Finding the time to edit and organize them into posts is the only real problem I'm having. So let me just check in and say, the weekend in Vermont was both fun and relaxing.

Also, after a full weekend of drinking quality brews, I can't even stomach the thought of Miller Light anymore. Guess I need to make room in the ol' budget for real beer from now on.

Since I'm back at work and all the things that were supposed to change for the better HAVEN'T YET, I will direct your attention to Garfield Minus Garfield, a collection of Garfield comic strips with all but Jon Arbuckle removed. The result? Kind of depressing and often hilarious.

Here's the one I'm relating to lately:

** Edit ** Due to a watermain break and gas issue here in Boston, tons of businesses in the area are currently closed. My workplace is not. And it smells like gas in here, to the point where it's giving me a headache. Think they'll send us home?

Yeah, I don't either.

and then it was Friday

2008-04-18T19:43:00.002-04:00

All the crazy people come out in the Spring. I don't know why, but it's true. Every year just as the weather starts to get warm and my winter blues start to fade away, they attack. They call me all day and yell and scream and proclaim that they are prophets of the Lord (yes, it's happened - twice!) Somehow each year it's a shock to the system.

But this year, there is a cure.

And its name is the Vermont Brewery Tour Extravaganza.

A weekend in the crunchy lil' town of Burlington, VT. Lots of good food and delicious beers. Our awesome traveling companions. Tons of photo taking. Hippies!

I'm just a wee bit excited.

Enjoy your weekends. I'll be enjoying mine! :)

Do you shabu-shabu?

2008-04-10T08:21:00.002-04:00

I can't believe I forgot to mention my awesome Saturday night. I also can't believe I didn't bring my camera along for the adventure. I had considered it, but since it was so rainy and dark most of the day, I figured I wouldn't get anything good anyway. Wouldn't you know it, we step off the train into the city and it's freaking BEAUTIFUL outside. Sun shining, sky blue as can be, lots of photo ops... and me without my stinkin' camera.

So background is that my friend from work and I have long been planning a double date. Her boyfriend is often so much like Hubs it's scary, so of course they get along great. Ever since we heard about "Run, Fatboy, Run!" starring the magnificent and kind of hot Simon Pegg, we have been planning to go see it. So we picked our day, picked a restaurant, and even got to meet Macoosh and long-lost friend Carole for the movie too! Well, despite the terrible reviews, we all found to movie to be extremely entertaining. But the part of the evening I keep thinking about? Dinner.

Well, yes, this is me and I'm pretty much constantly thinking about food. But still.

We went to Shabu-Zen in Chinatown for a hot-pot dinner. Hubs and I had never been there, but since my friend R. (pickiest eater on the planet) loves it, we figured we would too. We were correct. For anyone not familiar with this style of dining, there is a hot spot in the center of the table, which quickly heats up a large pot of broth. You order whatever tickles your fancy (I got the Surf and Turf) and they bring it to you raw. You drop it into the pot and it cooks in the broth. Once it's done to your liking (and it's QUICK, let me tell you) you spice it up and chow down. You can get rice, noodles, etc and a big plate of vegetables. They give you soy sauce and spices. It's a little unnerving to see a raw plate of beef or fish at first but once you realize how quickly it cooks and how delicious it is, you get over it. I would definitely recommend this place to anyone in the area - good food, reasonable prices, and a fun experience. And no I'm not being paid to send you there. (But I will accept money or gift certificates, Shabu-Zen, so don't be shy about getting in touch!)

I wish I had some photos from the evening, but again, I'm a big idiot. So I don't. Pah.

Great. Now I'm hungry...

on the upswing

2008-04-08T07:47:00.002-04:00

The current work situation is still madness, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, I don't know what's happened in the past couple of months, but I've gotten much better at managing stress. When it's been hard to breathe, I've made myself breathe anyway. When I feel an anxiety attack coming on, I find an excuse to walk away for a little while. I remind myself that this is my job, not my life. I'll do what I have to do to pay my rent and my bills and buy cute shoes, but I'm not going to let my day job ruin my sanity. So... there.

I'm going to get slightly OT for a moment, but I realized yesterday that I had been updating about my progress in that weight-loss program at my gym, and then I just kind of stopped. Well, I didn't win any prizes but I feel pretty good about my progress. I dropped 12lbs, lost an inch or so from my waist, and now a couple of weeks later my BMI is down by 2 pts. You can't really tell yet but I can feel it for sure. I had a week recently where I didn't make it to the gym at all, and we ate a LOT of crap, but I'm back on track now. I think maybe all the gym-going is helping me with the stress of work - sometimes it's a real fight to be there, but for the most part it feels good to beat the sh*t out of the Stairmaster (rather than throw the contents of my desk out the window, for instance.)

One of the biggest problems I have when it comes to work is also one of the characteristics that helps me succeed - I care. Even when I don't care and I'm miserable and I hate what I'm doing, I care about my performance. I work hard. I try to exceed expectations. I stay late, work through lunch, show up early, come in on my day off. I pick up slack for other people and offer to help out wherever I can. Am I rewarded for this? Hell yeah. But would I do it anyway, just because I can't deal with trying anything less than my hardest? Well, yeah. I would. For a long time I did. Most of my friends are this way too. I'm guessing most people who maintain a blog fall into this category as well, since it can actually be a lot of work to update and read/comment for other people. Especially some of you people keeping two or three, making meaningful updates every day, guest-blogging and commenting away...

I blame my father. He made me like this. With his work ethic and his expectations... damn him. (Okay, okay, my dad is pretty much the best human being in the world, but don't you sometimes wish you could be one of those people that is okay with floating by on mediocre performance and little or no recognition?? Yeah, me too!)

If only I could be so concerned when it comes to cleaning my apartment. Hm.

So... am I right? Are you the type of person that can't help but care about your job performance, even if you're not where you want to be? Or are you one of those slackers that the rest of us have to help out all the time? You can admit it if you are, I won't hunt you down or anything. I think.

lil sis

2008-04-04T12:47:00.001-04:00

Just a quick note --- my lil' sister started a blog of her very own!!!

She's blogging AND she's about to turn 21.... could I be any happier?

If you get a chance, show her some love.

just a quick vent...

2008-03-31T08:06:00.002-04:00

It is 8:06AM and I am already unbelievably stressed.

- As of today we are without four senior adjusters. We have a bunch of newbies, a couple of people who know what they are doing, and several others who are either slow or don't care about anything.

- As of today I am the only adjuster who knows how to handle glass claims, which have been killing us lately. I am training one of the newbies to take over my co-worker's former glass workload, but it's going to be a while before he's ready to take it on fully. If this week is anything like the last couple were, I'm going to get slammed with glass claims - which are the WORST because people always wait till the last minute and then are in a panic because they need their inspecition sticker/it's going to rain/they can't see out the windshield.

- My best office buddy is heading to a new department/floor and with her goes much of my sanity.

- Due to the sudden departure of these adjusters, my workload went from 50 claims to 100 claims in three days. I don't even know where to begin.

- I am the only one who has handled another program that some of us are working on here - though I've only done it twice and don't really know what I'm doing - but since I'm the only one who's done it, I'm the one everyone else comes to for help. I hate teaching anything when I'm unsure of it myself.

And with that my day begins, time to start answering the phones....

I'm on a sugar rush

2008-03-26T19:38:00.001-04:00

Firstly, to Kara et al., The Pogues were fantastic. Shane was a in his stumbling, rambling, slurring, drunken glory. I couldn't understand a word coming out of that toothless mouth, but I found myself cheering along each time he screamed enthusiastically into the mic. The Orpheum in Boston is an amazing venue for any show. Good times with great friends, awesome music, and huge beers.

Nextly, I've been incredibly busy at work lately, hence the no-blogging. Not that I've had anything very interesting to blog about lately. Four senior adjusters are leaving the department on Monday, so I've been taking on a lot of the debris. In two days I went from handling 59 claims to 98. 9-8. Sheesh. But the days go by more quickly when you're busy - and being this busy means being valued. I'm not overwhelmed, so I'm trying to look on the bright side. When I start bitching about it nonstop, you'll know I'm not so much seeing the sunny side of things anymore..

I have a good feeling, like fantastic things are on the horizon. Could be the fact that it felt like Spring today (!!!) but hopefully there's something more to it than that.

Here are just a few from the St Paddy's parade in Southie:

me me me me me me me

2008-03-19T08:12:00.034-04:00

While I'm waiting for a chance to actually upload all my St. Paddy's Day photos, I decided to gank a fun lil' meme from Lara (go visit her!)

The rules are:

> Answer the questions below.
>Type your answers into Photobucket.

>Pick a picture from the results and post it as the answer.
*

Fun right? Even if you don't get to learn anything new, you can look at some pretty pictures!
*

What is your name?

How old will you be on your next birthday?

What is your occupation?

No, you wise-asses. I don't crash cars for a living -- but I talk to people that do!!

What is your relationship status?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you love most in life?

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Who is your celebrity crush?

Okay, there are lots of cute celebrities out there, so I chose the one I obsessed over in my most formative, most boy crazy years. I remember this photo from a magazine - maybe Seventeen? I loved him so much in the 90s - I mean, he was cute AND he wrote poetry?? C'MON!

Favorite animal:

Favorite color:

Favorite Book:

Favorite type of shoe:

Favorite Disney character:

Favorite place to be:

Biggest annoyance:

Biggest fear:

Bad habit:

What is your mood right now?

Let me know if you decide to play along. No pressure! I am just bored.

I'm going to see The Pogues tonight! Yay!

Get yer Irish on

2008-03-17T16:33:00.008-04:00

I feel strange today. A little thoughtful, a little lazy, a little unsatisfied.

Work is still going well, though I'm fighting through a complete lack of focus and energy. I'm kind of amazed that I've been able to get quite a bit done today even with zero concentration and an overabundance of apathy. Imagine how much butt I'll kick after a good night's sleep (if I am able to get one anytime soon --- possible? We'll see.)

I do wish, sometimes, that I had the type of job where I could just stick some headphones in and listen to mah pod while working. The right kind of music boosts my productivity and also keeps me calm. I suppose I could listen to radio softly - other people have (sometimes not so softly) - but I am pretty sure it's frowned upon and anyway, I don't want to distract other people with my own tastes. Even though they're pretty good tastes. That's what she said. What?

Yesterday was the annual St. Paddy's parade in South Boston. It was loads of fun, and it is probably also the reason I'm not feeling so great today. The elusive Macoosh was finally able to come with us (maybe she'll even blog about it???), and my sister joined us again as well. There will be photos at a later time. The whole event made me very happy and warm and once again grateful to have married into an awesome family. I think about it all the time - there are so many people who don't get along with their in-laws. I adore my in-laws, and not just the immediate family - every person that I've met who is even remotely related to Hubs is fantastic. This, of course, includes the Boys, Hubs's twin cousins who are growing up way, way, way too fast. They are my favorite little people. I am trying to enjoy every moment I have with them, since in a few years they will probably be far too cool for me.

I'm too old and too tired to do any real partying tonight, so if you're going out, have a shot for me! And be careful, dammit!

Like Daisy Buchanan, without the DUI

2008-03-15T19:30:00.015-04:00

Last night I went to a cocktail party hosted by friends. It was a classy time. We made ourselves pretty and drank fancy drinks and ate French cheese. For once, we weren't just a bunch of drunks. As good buddy Kell put it, "Tonight, we're imbibers."

I bring you Cocktails Near the Ides of March:

Drink #1 - Desert Tequila Sunrise. YUM. Rimmed with sugar, salt, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, and orange zest. Isn't it gorgeous?!

Our hostess mixing the next drink - I can't remember what it was called, but it had blackberry and it was DELICIOUS. So delicious, in fact, that I drank it all before remembering that I had wanted to take a picture of the finished product. YUM.

Doing their best to look snooty and important:

Drink #3 - the classic Sidecar. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this mix. I think our hosts did a great job with the order of drinks, because if I had started out with this, I may have had trouble getting over the initial bite of lemon juice. But paired with some bread and Brie, and after a couple more modern cocktails, it really hit the spot.

Wait.... what is that? Is it.... it is! Fondue!!!

This must mean it's time for Drink #4, our dessert drink - the Espresso Martini. I have always thought these sounded tasty - and I'll tell you what. They are. At this point in the evening I stopped asking exactly what was in every drink and what was rimming every glass. There was definitely some cocoa on the rim of this baby - very yummy.

Oh, and because we're versatile, when we were finished being super classy and drinking fashionable concoctions, we dug out the beer and played Rock Band:

So thanks again to our hosts!! We had an awesome time and appreciate all the hard work you put into this gathering.

Cheers!

re-gruntled

2008-03-14T08:49:00.006-04:00

I have been at my current job since 2005. I was referred to this job by
Macoosh, who was also working here for a while before jetting off to Ireland (and who needs to blog again, dammit!) Without getting too far into details, I work for an auto insurance company, and my job description is lengthy. And depressing, at least for someone with a BA in Theater.

Part of my job since I started has been to field calls and set up new insurance claims. This is on top of actually handling my files along with any other projects that come up. Since I started, this has been a huge obstacle to my work satisfaction. It's hard enough making some of these decisions, investigating people, and fielding angry callers for not only my OWN claims, but for people who refuse to answer their phones. Now pile endless claim reports on top of all that and... well you end up with a day spent doing everyone's work but your own. Frustrating, no?

Yes.

Up until YESTERDAY.

Yesterday was possibly the best day of work I've ever had. For the first time since 2005, I left the office happier than I had been when I came in that morning.

You see, yesterday the other department - whose set-up calls my department used to have to take - started setting up their own claims. What a revelation! I got so much done! I was in a good mood for each caller because I wasn't flooded with them all day long. I left work feeling like I had accomplished something because I got to close out some files and clean my desk a bit. The other department actually doing their own work cut our daily call amount in half. (Bear in mind I don't actually feel any resentment toward this other department for not having done this sooner - it's not their fault at all. It was just a policy that needed to be changed. I don't appreciate when they complain to me that now they have "sooooo much to do" now, but that's another story.)

There are rumblings going around of "be careful what you wish for", based purely on supply and demand. If we are taking on less work now, maybe our department doesn't need so many faces... maybe they'll moniter us more closely... maybe there will be consequences for people that don't work quite as hard....

Know what I say to that?

GOOD.

There should be consequences if you don't do your work, just like there should be rewards when you do an exceptional job (and there are rewards here, I can attest to that.) If someone isn't pulling their weight, maybe it would be better for everyone if that person didn't stay. No, I don't think someone should be fired without reason, or after just one little issue. But every company has those slugs that just float along, doing less than they could do and causing stress and strife for everyone else. Why are they allowed to stick around?? Either make them work harder, or tell them to move on (and divide their salary up amoung those of us that do work hard... no? Fiiiine. Whatev.)

I'm hoping that the people who used to blame their laziness on how many calls they took start to actually do their work now. If not, I'm hoping there will be a consequence. Not necessarily firing, I'm not completely cold-hearted. But there's got to be something better than a sigh and a figurative slap on the wrist.

I'm still not living the dream, but at least I haven't wanted to jump out the window the last couple of days! Baby steps!

very true

2008-03-10T21:05:00.003-04:00

GEMINI., March 10, 2008

Your morning may begin on an uplifting note as social communications lure you away from more serious matters. Later in the day, however, you aren't as eager to waste time in endless phone calls, emails or text messages. You need a bit of solace so you can concentrate on what's really important to you now.

**************

Ever notice that life gets in the way while you're trying to figure out how to live it?

Yes, me too.

Things are good... very good, in fact. But I feel like I haven't taken any time lately to just stop and breathe. St. Patrick's Day is coming up this weekend, and then Easter after that, so it doesn't appear I'll get the chance very soon. Le sigh. If only I didn't have to work...

I feel like time is moving in fast forward lately. Everything is just happening so fast. On the one hand I want Spring to just **be here** and for life to be warm and sunny and breezy. But I can't believe we're already in the second week of March. I want to just get the damn GREs over with, but I feel like I've had no time lately to sit and study. We lost an hour yesterday - it in no way seems like it was time for that to happen.

And on the subject of time, very shortly I'll be losing two of my closest Work Buddies to different departments. While I'll still see them plenty, it's not going to be the same. I work with really great people who make me sane during these crazy stressful days. Two of them are moving on, and not only does that mean more work for lil' moi, it also means less time laughing and griping at our desks. I didn't actually feel even a little bit sad about it until today. I'm having a pensive day, I guess - probably brought on by a killer combination of hormones and a bad cold.

I still feel like I just can't get the words out. I can't get these entries focused. Maybe focus just isn't my thing.

Harpoon Hibernian Ale and repeats of The Family Guy? Much more my thing. Perhaps it's time to get back to that...

Tonight....

2008-03-07T08:21:00.002-05:00

Harpoon St Patties Day Festival at their Boston brewery!! Yaaa-hooooo!

I'm pretty excited.

I've had nothing to say this week, obviously. I got my formal review at work yesterday. It went very well. I'm making a little more money now.

So I'll be blowing this paycheck on beer and festival food.

Photos will follow! Hope everyone is doing well.

It's Friday!

2008-02-29T07:59:00.003-05:00

This week has been insane, and I'm so glad it's over! The snowstorm we had last Friday really screwed up my work week - after spending their whole lives living through snowy winters, people have still not learned that you can't go 50mph down a residential street in a snowstorm. You *will* strike a curb/tree/house/car/human.

If you strike the human, I don't have to deal with your phone calls. But anything else, yeah, that's me.

I'm not sure what plans will be tonight. It's going to start snowing again at some point later so I doubt I'll venture very far from home. I do know, however, that I will be inhaling libations. So let me know if you're around and you feel like imbibing!

wifey

2008-02-26T12:04:00.003-05:00

Congrats to my Wifey who is now all done with her grad school auditions!!! YAY!

Now I get to go have lunch with her - awesome break in the day. Sorely needed, as well.